subject: Deal With Loneliness On Your Own Terms [print this page] One of the worse things about being lonely-well, aside from the isolation and depression at least-is how many people around you suddenly seem to be experts on loneliness. When friends or family members find out you are lonely, or even just suspect you are, they will often bombard you with well meaning bits of advice on how to deal with loneliness. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, although it does seem to lump all the different types of loneliness together, and basically confines you to the "heartbroken and lonely" segment of society. The truth is that we all have different reasons for being lonely, and very often, only the person suffering from it will be able to figure out the best way for dealing with loneliness.
Loneliness can occur in any one of any age, although people from certain age groups and demographics are more likely to experience it than others. Loneliness is quite common in adolescents and the elderly, although for radically different reasons. In the young, loneliness is often the result of isolation from peers, an inability to fit in, or an overpowering sense of insecurity that often comes with being a teenager. In such people, the seemingly obvious choice would be to make friends and socialize as much as possible. This is often easier said than done however, and the inability to fit in can make it very difficult for socially awkward teens to deal with loneliness.
In the elderly, loneliness can be caused by so from friends or family. As we grow older, there are much fewer opportunities for socialization, and we may feel like we are being abandoned. Add to that the host of illnesses that make it impossible to carry on even a semblance of a social life, and you have a fertile situation for developing loneliness.
Even younger adults aren't immune to the effects of loneliness. Separation with a partner, a failed relationship, a tragedy in the family, and the loss of a job can all be triggers of loneliness, and depression often enters into the equation as well. Many people also suffer from emotional and mental conditions that prevent them from functioning normally on a social level.
Dealing with loneliness depends in large part on your ability to determine the proper course of action. Well meaning friends and family members will often encourage you to "get out more" or to "meet new people". Still others will encourage you to "lighten up" and "not take things too seriously". All this can be good advice but they may not necessarily apply to your situation. In some cases, the traditional methods of dealing with loneliness are only temporary, stop-gap measures at best, and they may do little to alleviate long term and deeper rooted conditions of loneliness. You should also be on guard against societal pressures to feel that there is something wrong with you if you are lonely. While extreme cases of loneliness may require professional intervention, sometimes all you really need to deal with loneliness is a bit of time to reflect.
