subject: No Whining Allowed After A Breakup [print this page] Soyou're dealing with a breakupSoyou're dealing with a breakup. Yes, it stinks. You' re not enjoying life right now. I get it. This article covers whining. The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines whining as "to complain with or as if with a whine." When someone is known as a whiner, let's face itit's not a compliment. Some people take offense to the term but whining really is simply complaining. Do you know where complaining gets you? Do you think it makes you feel better? In the long run, does it make your dreams come true? Do people race to be in the presence of a whiner? Admit it. You've known someone in your life who complained all the time. I bet you couldn't get away from them fast enough.
But it's a cycle that's easy to get stuck in when you're newly single. I know someone who was years past her divorce and guess what? She was STILL complaining about things her ex-husband had done while they were married. She continued to struggle with it daily. I understood her, though, because I was a complainer too. I complained about EVERYTHING for a while. It seemed that there was something wrong with every part of my life. With all that whining going on, do you think I had time for talking and thinking about the goodness in my life? Did I shine the spotlight on that? No. It wasn't until I realized that the more I complained ~ the more things I had to complain about, that I made a change.
I read Wayne Dyer's book called The Power of Intention. This quote really struck me ~ When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. Could I really change things just by changing my thoughts about them? You bet! It's amazing to me that once I started looking at the "sunny side" of life ~ my life transformed.
The following are a few tips for changing the way you look at things:
1. Focus on what's good in your life. Even if you're having the worst day and you are completely broken hearted, there's still good things going on. Like, you're alive, for one. You have friends and family who care about you. You have a roof over your head. Sometimes, when it feels like everything is going wrong, just being grateful for the basics is all you can do. That's fine. Take some time each day to search for the good in your life and give thanks for it.
2. Promise yourself that for one full day ~ you won't complain. Boy, can this one be tough. If you catch yourself launching into complaints about HIM or the traffic or your boss or your finances ~ whatever it is ~ just stop in mid sentence. Give yourself and everyone around you a break from the negative energy whining produces. I guarantee that you'll feel proud of yourself and a little lighter because you're not dragging yourself down with complaints.
3. Laugh more; whine less. It is true that when we're smiling or laughing it's really difficult to be unhappy. Therefore, do things that you know will make you feel good. Don't you know someone that cracks you up every time you're around them? It's my brother for me. It's honestly impossible to be around him and feel bad. He's always been the family clown. I've got a few friends like that too. If you've got someone like that in your life, hang out with them more often. Or watch a funny movie or TV show. Bring more reasons to smile and laugh into your life and you'll feel better sooner than you think.
4. Get over yourself. I know that sounds kind of harsh but I wish someone would have told me this when I was stuck in my whining pattern. I really didn't have it that bad. After all, if I was honest, I wasn't really all that happy in my marriage that had just ended. Yes. I was dealing with difficult emotions and I wasn't sure what the future held. I could own that. Butdid I want to focus on what I had lost? Could I begin to focus on the fresh start that the future promised? That sounded a lot better than remaining down in dumpsville forever.
SoI challenge you to begin talking and thinking about all the fabulousity you've got going on, Gorgeous! You get to start down a new path to a new you and make your life better than ever!
