subject: Being A Music In A Relationship [print this page] The screaming fan syndrome waiting backstage, the rock n roll lifestyle, rich today broke tomorrow, the headlines of who is now with who. For a person dating a musician it is not all plain sailing, especially not when their life as a couple is in the public eye.
A music jobs hours are unusual to a person working from 9am-5pm. Performing musicians tend to be driving to a gig at 5pm to be there by 6pm for a sound-check. The hours before this are spent preparing the music, rehearsing, creating a set-list of songs, dressing and loading the car with equipment for the show. Some teach during the day, work in a studio or shop, and some even have an office job for extra money. By the time a days work is done, it is way past midnight. The fans are still trying to strike up conversation whilst they are trying to load the car and just go home.
When starting out as a musician, there is a thrill of the nightlife and it is very exciting. So yes, rock n roll in the early days. Some musicians do live their life rock n rolling nonstop, but most eventually settle down and have families for the quieter side of life. The nightlife, the bars, the clubs, the fans, the publicity, the hype, the performance and the after-parties are fun and glamorous but in all honesty by the time youve seen at least twenty of them, the glitzy novelty begins to wear off and one party is pretty much the same as the other.
As musicians, you know this, but your partner may not. Especially when just starting out, your partner will not understand why you signed your autograph on a female fans chest last night at the after-party, and you only staggered through the door at 7amthe same time the newspaper arrives with you and her in the headlines! Yes, you may need to do some serious explaining. As much as there is hype and exposure, if you are a musician in a relationship you are going to need to build trust or rather not be in a relationship and have all the fun you like without hurting someone that loves you.
Many musicians date musicians only as a rule, because they get their life and have to do less explaining. But in all honesty, a musician is a person who has feelings and any kind of mistrust is going to cause problems on the home front. You either want to be in a relationship or date your job. Superstar should be careful of dating every groupie or fan, as a bad reputation, especially the ladies, is not a good one. Megastars often compete as well, which is not good, especially when the more successful artist is the female lead singer. It is just natural for any male to be the breadwinner, let alone less successful in the press eyes. Jealous-types be warned, this is most likely not for you.
Bottom line, you have to trust what and when a musician does what he or she does and with less questions of the whereabouts and more questions like How was the show? Be involved and enthusiastic about what they do it is a fascinating lifestlye. Do not by any means invade their space, interrupt their creative process or purposely not give them praise when they deserve it (big and small) as they will use that very reason to walk out on you.
