subject: Help...i Need Somebody! [print this page] Would you like some help out with your groceries today?
This was the question that I was waiting for as I paid for my groceries. I was recovering from major surgery and had just started getting slowly back into my usual routines. I was under strict instructions to keep the walking to a minimum and definitely no heavy lifting. So, for the first time in my life, I needed help with getting my groceries into my car and today I planned to say yes when the clerk asked. She didnt ask. Guess what I did next? I pushed my cart out of the store and then proceeded to unpack the grocery bags, one item at a time, until the bag was light enough for me to lift. Then, I repacked the bags that were now in my car, one item at a time.
Im not proud of this story but I am sharing it to make a point. The point is, its time for us to start asking for help. Most of us dont ask for help heck, most of us dont even accept help when its offered. But not asking for or not accepting help is making life much harder than it needs to be (if life needs to be hard at all).
I know, I knowI can hear you already.but Deb, if I ask for help, Ill look weakIll lose my independenceit makes me vulnerablethen Ill be indebted to them and what if I cant pay them backwhat if they say no.its faster if I do it myself I have heard every excuse in the book about why you cant/shouldnt/wont ask for help and here is what I have to say about each one:
It takes a strong person to know when they need help and to ask for it. We are not meant to be independent but rather interdependent why do you think there are other people on the planet?? With all of these people on the planet, we need some way to connect and build relationships and we cant build any deep or satisfying relationships without being vulnerable. People dont help others just to get something in return, they help because it makes them feel good and lets them use their skills and strengths. Wouldnt you like to help others feel good? Its pretty rare that someone would say no to helping you dont you usually help others when you are asked? If they do say no, its not because you are a bad, weak or needy person, its because they just arent able to help. In the long run most things take longer to do by yourself and require more energy so getting help will give you more time and energy that you can use to do something fun!
I have more responses for anyone who feels uncomfortable asking for help but the main reason that most people dont ask for help has to do with self worth and deserving. You are worthy and deserving of having an inspiring and joyful life and if you still think you have a good reason that you cant ask for help, leave your below and Ill help you see a different perspective!
