subject: Healing From Infidelity Is Not Impossible [print this page] Getting healed of any emotional pain requires that you release the pain from your mind. Anyone who refuses to release the event that caused the pain would just continue to suffer the pain. Actually, it would become worse.
This is really what happens in marriage. Some persons have experienced what many folks would regard as the highest pain that anyone can face in a marriage. This problems is infidelity. Getting healing from infidelity is often regarded as something that is practically impossible. This is false.
Lot's of people find this process of healing hard because they first have to forgive their spouse before the healing process can start. This leads us to a really critical matter. Is it possible to forgive such an offense?
Let no one deceive you into thinking that forgiving infidelity is at all simple. This is a pretty demanding process. It is critical that you note that I called it a process and not an act. You can't simply get up and forgive your spouse of the act. You can choose to forgive the act. But, the real complete forgiveness would happen over a period of concerted effort.
The reason why some individuals believe they cannot forgive is that they think forgiving is the same thing with forgetting. Your only chance of forgetting is if you can make yourself have amnesia. Apart from this, you would certainly remember what happened. The only thing would be that it would no longer hurt the way it did. How does one do this?
The journey begins with your decision to forgive. This begins with accepting the fact that the incident has happened and that there's nothing you can do to reverse it. Instant this has been acknowledged in your mind, you can then go on to the next stage.
Your next task now involves fixing your marriage. This is necessary because what happened damaged much of the trust you had in your spouse. Without this trust, your marriage would be an unhappy one. This being the case, that trust needs to be rebuilt. A lot of the work would however be done by the guilty spouse. The duty of the hurt spouse would be to offer the guilty spouse the chance to earn their trust. Efforts at regaining a spouse's trust would be fruitless if the spouse has neither accepted the act nor decided to forgive.
Just as trust needs to be rebuilt, communication also has to be re-established. Without communication being back, both spouses cannot communicate their hurt on the one hand and repentance on the other. Forgiveness would be smoother when the partner feels the sincere repentance of the guilty spouse.
There's no need to stress the importance of communication. You would usually find cases of emotional affair and other challenges when communication is bad. Go through the enumerated processes and be healed.
