subject: Can You Ever Overlook a Cheating Partner? Three Important Things to Consider Before You Even Try! [print this page] Often when caught in difficult situations we tend to immediately try to find someone to blame. It is a lot easier to pass the burden to others when something goes wrong. Unfortunately, more often than not, things cannot be seen as black and white. There are many shades of gray especially when you find that your partner has cheated.
Cheating is not necessarily age or gender related. It is rather a maturity issue in most cases. Mature individuals tend to have more conviction of their choices and are able to view commitment as a central step to success. However, lack of affection, indifference and boredom can sometimes contribute to the situation. A cheating partner can often argue that " something was missing".
Once the cheating has occurred, the road to recovery can be long and arduous. That one may decide if this is the right path, we need to be able to answer three significant questions:
1 - How critical is this relationship to each of the parties involved? In order to forgive a cheating partner we have to have the wherewithal to look at the relationship as something worth saving. It is also important for the cheating ones to evaluate how far they are willing to go to make things work. It is not productive to be suspicious of every single action taken by a cheating spouse. A much better approach is to make their actions verifiable voluntarily. Patience and open communication are often the best ingredients.
2 - What are the reasons that led to the affair? With all the stress of modern life, communication is usually one of the first things to fade in a relationship when we feel safe. By hiding how we feel, we draw conclusions based on our own opinions and neglect the feelings of the significant others. By doing so, we damage the relationship which can lead to infidelity. Part of the action of forgiving is acknowledging our part (if any) and willingness to change. Cheating partners that want to save their marriage usually appreciate honest discussions.
3 - Are you able to forgive and move on? Not all of us are able to forgive an unfaithful partner. Once we answer the questions above, we need to asses the damage and recover our sense of safety, always keeping in mind that healing takes time and effort from both parts.
There is always stress associated with dealing with a cheating partner. It is important to give the relationship time to evaluate past actions. Only then can we decide if the best decision is to save something crucial or let go of what was never there in the first place.
Can You Ever Overlook a Cheating Partner? Three Important Things to Consider Before You Even Try!
