subject: Time C Coping with Breakups [print this page] Affected by a breakup are both partiesAffected by a breakup are both parties. coping with a breakup is not easy. The reason behind the breakup does not affect the fact that it is painful. You need to let go of the past experiences, and fear of similar future experiences. It is not uncommon for the person who did the breaking up to have some guilt about it. The one that was left harbors anger and deep hurt.
Accept the Finality
Most people find it very hard to accept the fact that a relationship is over. You become self-destructive as you stay in the denial. You need to face the fact that a breakup has occurred. Is very important that you begin to deal with all of the negative feelings as quickly as possible. You are only fooling yourself if you continue to deny that the relationship is over. Do not extend your misery by failing to admit that the relationship is ended. In order to get through the emotional strain of going through this difficult time, it is important to understand that this is a breakup and you need to get out with living your life.
Grieve Over Your Loss
You will have to accept a certain amount of grief that she will feel just as you would any other time you went through difficult separation. In fact, grieving is actually a healing process, both physically and emotionally. It will become a critical part of your healing process. It may be useful to talk to some of your friends, discussing with them the pain and frustration you feel after such difficult breakup. Take care not to overdo your unloading. They will listen, but be very careful not to become a problem in their personal lives. Accept a reasonable amount of time for your mourning process.
Maintain Self Respect
As you are dealing with the breakup, do not begin the finger-pointing. There is no value in finding fault that is going to assist you as you move on with your life. Getting on with your own life is your best option. If you are in moments of suicidal thoughts seek help immediately, but there is no need to punish yourself. The breakup will shatter your self-esteem and have a negative impact on your psyche. Your self respect must be protected. It will allow you to be happy in your postbreakup life. There is another person out there waiting for you to begin a new phase in your life.
Pamper Yourself
Breaking up causes an emotional wound. Normally you pamper yourself when you get physically hurt so that you have time to heal. Emotional wounds are treated differently. Why is this? Positive feelings need to be developed. Look to entertainment to help bring in those positive feelings. Entertainment can be sporting events, fairs, plays, and movies. You want to do this because the event is something positive that you're witnessing and it helps to take your mind off of the breakup. Pamper yourself with a massage. You need to get out, but you don't need to go overboard in spending. Self-indulgence is one of the steps in coping with the breakup.
Heal Yourself
Avoid new relationships when you're trying to cope with one that just broke up. Newer relationships seem to be comforting for the heard that you have just experienced. Most of the time you do not really know the person you are getting into the new relationship with. Not much good comes out of this. Emotions need to not only be healed but also under control before you contemplate new relationships.
Don't Seek Revenge
You always have a chance of falling out of love what you've fallen into it. People fall out of love all the time. This is a part of life that is. Normal even though it is very sad. If you find yourself in the middle of a breakup, do not begin plotting revenge. All too often those who plot revenge by themselves in trouble with the law are just plain doing stupid things. All of this is not a reflection on you personally. At least one of you did not find that the relationship was working. Enacting revenge is not going to make things better. Building a new life cannot be done if you are fixated on revenge.
Look Positively to the Future
Keep life as normal as you can. Someday you'll have a fulfilling relationship. Comfort can be found within your family. The immediate past should not be focused on as you are still too emotional over it. Soon it will become history. Coping with a breakup with a good attitude will help you to heal emotionally.
