subject: The Ten Commandments Of Swinging [print this page] It may be hard to imagine that anything as free and wild and liberal as swinging would have rules but there are swinger rules out there. The Ten Commandments of Swinging are listed below. You may find other lists out there for the Dos and Donts of Swinging but these ten swinger rules represent the most important guidelines you could follow as a swinger no matter if you are just starting out as a swinger or are a longtime alternative lifestyle couple.
1) No, means NO!
You have your swinger rules. They have their swinger rules. Respect each others boundaries. If the word no is spoken, it stopsno matter where you are or what (or who) you were doing. You NEVER give up the right of refusal in swinging. This is swinging rule number one and is the most important swinger rule.
2) Talk. Talk. Talk.
If you are a swinger couple you need to talk about everything. You need to talk about swinging in advance and extensively for a long time. You need to talk about what you will do, what you will not do. Afterwards, you need to talk about what you did and how it made you feel. If you dont, you will likely destroy your relationship. Not everyone comes into swinging at the same pace or the same time. Some swinger couples may just observe other swingers for years. Other swingers may jump into the deep end of the pool at age 25! Some swingers have lots of rules. Other swingers may have virtually no rule except Do whats fun! Dont assume anything in swinging. And dont push (or be pushed) into situations or experiences youre not ready for. If you havent talked about it, you probably shouldnt be doing it.
3) Leave drama for the movies.
Dont freak when you see your swing partner or lover fucking someone else. Dont try to break up a swinger couple. Never make plans to swing with just one member of a couple. It is a serious swinger party foul to hit up a guys wife for sex while the husband is off to get drinks. Bad form. Dont be an aggressive Vinny. Dont fuck others to get back at your spouse. Save the arguments for home, not at the party. Dont talk politics or religion at a swing party.
4) Come as a couple, leave as a couple.
You both have to want to do this. You should swing together. Play together. And leave together. Leaving your spouse behind at the swinger party is a major foul. Do not pressure your wife to swing. Do not swing just because you think it will make your husband happy. There may come a time when you are so comfortable with swinging that you can either be in separate swinger rooms or swing on your own. But until youve logged a few thousand miles of swinging on the sex odometer, cum together and leave together!
5) Do what pleases you. No pressure. No guilt.
This is recreation. Swinging is supposed to be fun. Dont be pushy or aggressive. People will tell you, no. Dont take it personally. Its casual sex. If its not fun, dont do it. Dont expect more than just sex. You have lovers and spouses for affection and love. Check your guilt at the door and have fun.
6) Deal with the jealousy, not ignore it. It WILL happen.
There are those that say jealousy and swinging are incompatible and that if you are jealous you need to get out of the lifestyle. If followed to the strictest interpretation, no one would swing at all. If you are a swinger couple and in love, there WILL BE jealousy. It might be a little. It might be a lot. It might be early on, or it might surface long after. But in swinging, jealousy almost always happens to someone in the relationship. The key is for swingers to DEAL with the jealously. Talk about it. Find out what triggered it. Reassure one another and avoid the circumstances or actions that caused it in the first place.
7) Know your limits. State your limits. Dont change your limits.
Talk ahead of time about your swinging and no EXACTLY what you expect each will do. Talk about every single possible scenario and situation in swinging and decide ahead of time what your response is going to be as a couple. Make sure you are both clear. Finally, do NOT change your swinger limits or swinger rules in the middle of a swinger party in the heat of the moment. Change them the next day when you talk it out for the next swinger party.
8) Play it straight.
No, this doesnt mean you cant have bisexual fun if you want to! It just means that you should be honest and courteous and polite. Dont break the swinger rules. Dont be offensive. Dont be rude. Dont get drunk. Respect other swingers privacy and follow the swinger laws. This is all about respect for yourself and for others and what they like or are comfortable with. Swingers come from every walk of life and many jealously guard their privacy. Swinging is already an alternative lifestyle outside of the mainstream. It does no one any good if it is complicated with drugs or other illegal behavior that just draws negative attention from the neighbors or the police or the media.
9) Play safe.
Any non-monogamous sex outside of a mutually exclusive committed couple has risks. Always bring condoms. Always wear condoms. Swinging is for fun and recreation, not Russian roulette with another guys cock. And if you have a sexually transmitted infection, inform any potential partners clearly and early.
10) Hygiene
This means a lot more than just making sure youre clean or free from STIs. It means take a shower just before you go out to swing. It means shave and be well groomed and brush your teeth. And for most people, it means that they expect that you should shave your genitalsor at least be very closely cropped. Dont overuse the cologne or perfume. Wear clean and appropriate clothes. Do we really have to say these things!? Evidently. Its in the top ten.
