subject: Should You Blame the Other Woman When Your Husband Cheats? [print this page] There has been a trend in the past to blame the other woman when a husband cheats. It still happens today. To some degree that's being a bit unfair. Not all other women know the man is married. Even among those who do, it takes two people to do this particular version of the tango. In other words, she was not solely responsible for what took place.
That being said, if the other woman knows the man is married, she shares some responsibility in her actions. If she has no idea he's married, on the other hand, she is as innocent in this as you are and deserves none of the scorn that is generally reserved for the woman the husband cheated with.
So, who should you blame? You guessed it. Blame the one who did the deed. Your husband is a big boy and a grown man. He knew exactly what he was doing whether the other woman knew about your existence or not.
Of course Hollywood often vilifies the other woman as some sort of insane psycho or a sexual panther on the prowl. In reality they are usually women just like you who fall for a bunch of pretty lines and before they know it, they are in the center of something they had no idea was going on.
To make matters worse, these are often the ones who have invested real, genuine emotion into the relationship and are the most likely to be hurt (much like you were or will be) when the truth comes out. The truth always has a nasty habit of coming out eventually.
As difficult as it may be, try to put yourself in the shoes of the other woman and see things from her point of view. Chances are she knew as little of your existence as you knew of hers. You also never know what lies and half truths your husband has been telling her. You have no idea how much was genuine on his part and how much of it was a complete fabrication.
When you confront your husband keep this in mind. Of all the players involved, he is the only one who had all the facts. Is it fair to blame the other woman? No, it really isn't fair at all. On the other hand, as you work to rebuild your marriage or you head to divorce court (as the case may be) the other woman becomes a convenient target for both of you.
Should You Blame the Other Woman When Your Husband Cheats?
