subject: Marriage Counselling Why? [print this page] Sleeping beauty was woken with a kissSleeping beauty was woken with a kiss. The Prince rescued her from a spell and promised her his love. But what did their marriage look like 15 years and 3 kids later??? If only we knew
Imagine, age 30, your boyfriend proposes. The timing may be right, the religion the same, and your values similar. These schemata alone neither guarantee nor promise happiness. Nor are they enough for a successful marriage. Sleeping beauty did not have a choice. Prince Charming seemed to be the ideal partner, however in reality, he was her only choice. An individual chooses their spouse. This choice needs to be unwavering and constant.
This article discusses recommendations for enjoyment of a long lasting happy fulfilled marriage with goals that get renewed and achieved. Imagine spending the rest of your life with your best friend, the person who makes you laugh and cry. The one person who holds your hand and supports you unconditionally. Only some marriages experience the authenticity of love. Many relationships experience abuse, bad habits and destructive communication. Marriage requires effort. Specific practical examples are discussed to promote healthy marriages.
A marriage is a created system. A house that is shared becomes their home; Food cooked becomes a meal; Ideas become their reality; Lovemaking can create children, subsequently a family is created. Together, these individuals form a team, a partnership in approaching all aspects of life. This partnerships day starts at their home. Regardless of the individuals different work schedules or responsibilities, the end of the day is the couples opportunity to reconnect in their home, their sanctuary unique to them. This time can be spent unwinding from work, preparing dinner, showering, and all the normal responsibilities. However it is also the time to share news, feelings, discuss issues, thoughts and return to your partnership in your home.
Life outside the home provides many opportunities for an individual to live successfully whilst staying true to their marital vows. For example, two married women sit in a bar, filled with discussion, drinks and snacks. A single man approaches them requesting interaction and dialogue. One woman clearly states that she is married and not interested, whilst the other woman smiles, and commences a conversation. At this stage, the second woman chose to put her marriage to the back of her mind. It is helpful to remind ourselves that every action or thought needs to be in the best interest of their marriage. When an individual is in a happy marriage, this question is not even a conscious one, however during turbulent times, which every marriage experiences, avoidance of dialogue with others needs to be a conscious effort.
Effort is relentless. Unfortunately we do not have the luxury of only being available to our spouse when it is convenient. If there is genuine love and respect, it is normal to have different turns of giving and receiving. This does not imply tit for tat behaviour, rather it is important to notice our spouse. For example, when your spouse comes through the door at the end of a work day and sighs. Two common responses would be, You look tired, how was your day, can I get you a drink? or You had a hard day, Do you know how much stress Im under and how hard my day was? Couples should be there for each other, to meet each others needs and hopefully our wants.
Every individual has needs, including a balanced life. An individual needs to devote time and effort to their work, relationship, family, friends, hobbies, and self care. An individual should be encouraged to be the best individual they can be and visa versa. If both individuals put effort in to ensuring their life is fulfilled, they are more likely to put as much effort into encouraging the other. This will go a long way towards a relationship filled with experiences and fulfilling times.
