subject: 4 Simple Steps To Hunting Down The Perfect Buddy [print this page] One. Know Yourself One. Know Yourself
No, this doesn't mean to get a mirror out and take a look at your face so you'll recognize it mirrored in a smudged ladies room mirror. What it means is that you identify the vital basic values you hold. What's the thing that you definitely loathe? What's the thing that you find captivating? What is it that you believe cute but you know would drive you insane if you had to live with it? What kind of things would you see yourself and your ultimate mate doing in the future : Marriage? Kids? Travel? Sports? Is an analogous faith important to you? Or political opinions? These are the things that will set some initial boundaries because these are the deal killers. He could be the sexiest person on the planet, with 6 pack abdominals and a butt to die for, but if he's a non-believer and you need to raise children in a Christian home with 2 practicing Christian elders, then let him go - he might do for a one night stand, but he is not your ideal partner!
2. Make a Menu
Not a food menu to tempt this man when you find him, but a menu of private endowments that he must have. There are two sides of this menu ; the first is a listing of "must haves". These are non-negotiable. Whatever happens, whatever he looks like, however much is in his bank balance - these are the personality traits that he must have in order to have a long-lasting relationship with you. The second side of the menu is the "pick and mix selection" - things you'd like to see in your ideal mate, or even wouldn't like to see, but if the first menu features are all there, and he fits the basic values criteria, you will compromise on some of or all these.
3. Locate the Species
So now you know precisely what you're searching for in your ideal partner, where will you find him? Look at your menu again, and consider the future you hope to have with this man. Where would such a man hang out? This is where you have to be. Get involved with activities in this sort of place. If you're looking for someone sporty, become concerned in that sport yourself. If you are looking for a barrister type, find out where lawyers go for coffee or after work drinks and make a bit of a habit of going there. Folk do cross over and you may find a P. C. programmer in a sports bar, or a ball player in the mall, but chances are high that you will find them with the rest of their like-minded species - locate the species, and then find a place for yourself in that nest till you find the bloke who meets all of your non-negotiable criteria - which brings me to the last stage in this guide to finding the ideal buddy.
Four. Non-Negotiable is Non-negotiable!
If you have spent time and energy creating a list which shows exactly the kind of partner you can imagine spending the remainder of your life with, don't let yourself be persuaded to say "oh that doesn't actually matter", because it clearly mattered enough to put it on the list as non negotiable when you were thinking about what you really wanted. The novelty of those piercing blue eyes and provoking smile will wear off fast if the owner of them drinks himself under the table constantly and you won't have alcohol in the house! If you find yourself desiring to reach a compromise frequently, it's time to re-evaluate what you truly want. Rework those lists till you discover what your ideal buddy will really be like.
Take time carefully considering these 4 steps, and by responding to the questions as honestly as you are you able to should get a clear idea of the kind of guy who will be your perfect friend, and with a little luck it won't be long till you track him down!
