subject: How To Get A Man To Commit: First, Understand The Nature Of Masculinity [print this page] I like to look at the baby videos on YouTube to cheer myself up, and it's a safe bet that the majority of the audience is female. Maybe that's why this comment on one of the videos jumped out at me:
"That was so cute, I had to put my fist through a wall to recover my manliness."
While I don't doubt that the comment was a joke, it came to mind as I was watching another video - one by relationship counselor T.W. "T Dub" Jackson for his Girl Gets Ring project. He told a story of how he broke up with a girlfriend of four years, and not exactly in style: he was packed and prepared to leave town the very next morning.
Though it had happened 16 years ago, his memories are still as clear as they are painful: Turning off the radio because every song he heard sounded like an indictment; the time on his car clock when he arrived at her home; the food smells in the elevator; his knocking on her door when he had always let himself him with a set of her keys.
And T Dub remembers that they both cried.
He made the 1500-mile drive to his hometown alone, giving him a lot of time to wonder what it would take to get him to commit. Had there been a male passenger with him, they probably would have agreed that he had done the right thing and spent the rest of the trip in steely silence. That would have been the "manly" thing to do. But for T Dub to spill his guts on camera for all the world to see? That's as macho as - well, being charmed by a baby!
T Dub made a decision during his trip: he was going to "found out how my heart worked," and he didn't have a cardiologist in mind. The result is Girl Gets Ring, developed for women with commitment-phobic boyfriends. Why didn't he develop it for men, you may ask? Because men are too "manly" to admit they need help with commitment issues!
The nature of masculinity, T Dub explains, can be compared to a suit of armor. Men have two versions of themselves: the real person inside the armor, and the knight that the armor represents. Babies have no problem peeling away that armor. But unfortunately, men who display their real selves are seen as weaklings, the opposite of masculine. And the perceived "cure" is a show(off) of strength - such as putting one's fist through a wall.
For women, the gap between who your man really is, and the man that others are supposed to believe he is, is where commitment phobia breeds. But fear not - Girl Gets Ring, at http://myquestionsaboutlove.com/how-to-get-a-man-to-commit/, shows you how to peel the armor off your man and get him to commit. And no, you won't have resort to deception, threats, or drama:
