subject: They Tell You How To Get Over A Breakup. Can You? [print this page] Breaking up with someone is usually hard to do. However, surviving a breakup is often even harder.
Books or TV shows like The Oprah Winfrey Show provide you ample tips and insights how to survive a breakup.
Can you implement those and your brains get away from your pains?
Reality is against theories.
1.They say Acknowledge it's over.
The very first step in getting over a breakup is acceptance, though it hard to swallow. There is absolutely no way you can move on unless you admit that wholeheartedly that your relationship with ex is over. Do not pretend you are still in the relationship when reality is the opposite. You have to get on with your life on your feet as quickly as possible, acknowledging the cold truth. I know it is easier said than done.
2.They say Let it go.
Your memories of the times with your partner still will not go away and your love will be still burning inside your heart. You just have to make every conscious effort to let the love go. Once you have already accepted that it's over between the two of you, it will really be a hazardous to you to just stay in love with the other person. No one way relationships ever worked.
3. They say keep yourself busy.
You cannot dwell on your sense of loss all the time. You can't keep your mind occupied all day with flash back memories how your ex broke it off with you; or how happy times you two shared with. Try to find things to do to get your mind off your torment. Surviving a breakup requires concentrating on other things. Do what you love or learn a new skills. Don't do what remind you of your ex.
4. They say Love yourself.
You may have parted with your partner, but you still have yourself who you used to like. Life goes on. Love yourself and be kind to yourself after a break up. You will need to restore self-esteem and self-Confidence again before you enter a next chapter of your brand new relationship.
5. So the theories go on, but the question is can anybody implement rational and theoretical self help actions?
Bluntly speaking, to me the answer is no.
Think of this. It is an extreme case but years ago I saw a documentary on TV regarding two fathers who suffered the same horrible experience. Each got their daughter murdered.
One accepted the fact, left it go, created a support groups for the family of murder victims, wrote a book making money along the way and even he forgave the murder and can you believe saw him face to face in jail.
By contrast the other person couldn't get over, got bitter and twisted, never forgave the murder and actually he did not look healthy on TV.
The same situation but reactions are very different or sometimes diagonally opposite,
Do you think the latter does not know general wisdom of self help theories above? Of course he knows.
The bottom line is his brain/nature/character/personality developed at his birth or during the course of his life does not accept/follow those general wisdoms. His brains don't work that way.
You might be curious where I stand. To be honest I am very close to the later.
Ask your parents and friends and objectively rate yourself in the scale between the two above.
By knowing this each time similar things happen to you, tell yourself about your rating in that scale between the two and you get some comfort in philosophical way. And eventually Time is a healer. But again how long depends on each person's brain.
Manage you are pains if your brains cannot get over the pains
Reference
Should your break up be repairable, Ex Back System or The Magic Of Making Up might help.
