subject: The Top Five Ways Not To Recover From Cheating In Marriage [print this page] Every marital relationship has its share of ups and down but not many things are as destructive like realizing that your spouse was having a marital affair. You just cannot bring yourself to accept the fact that this person you loved and promised to share everything with would turn around and do something so dreadful.
Now comes the part where you not only have to make the decision as to whether you want to remain married but also begin the process of healing from what they did. It's not going to be easy of course but if you want to ensure healing never occurs then do the following:
1. Keep On Feeding The Unhealthy
You hate your mate's infidelity so you go out of your way to continue revisiting it time and time again. All of the the bad thoughts and feelings that you ought to be working on in order to eradicate are put on a non-stop tape loop in your head. Anytime it looks as if it will disappear you make certain to throw some more propane onto it by picking a fight with your mate or grabbing your favorite depressing image and then giving it great deal of thought until eventually it runs on autopilot.
2. Constantly Asking Yourself Why?
You sit down and think about this question at every opportunity. Even if your husband or wife tells you exactly why they did it you still keep asking. It's not that you are interested in the answer . It's more like you cannot bring yourself to accept what happened and begin your healing process.
3. Planning Retribution
Your spouse cheated on you and you will make them regret it if it's the last thing you do. And then what happens? You devote all of your time and energy figuring out methods to make them experience the pain you are going through but the plan will be to make them feel it ten times worse. The trouble is retribution is not just of waste of time but also an exercise for losers. If you are really serious then just start the divorce proceedings. And even with this it's best not to practice a scorched earth policy.
4. Telling Everyone
You turn into a town crier and broadcast to anybody and everybody what your spouse did. This does not happen just on occasion. You cannot help yourself. Whether people do or do not want to know doesn't matter. All this does is to keep the affair front and center. Keep in mind not everyone has the need to know what's going on in your personal life and furthermore you cannot move on as long as you rehash it again and again.
5. Bottle Up
At the opposite end of the spectrum you do not share anything with anyone. No therapy, no support group. Truth be told you do not even talk it over with your mate. What's done is done and you just wish it would all go away. That's not going to happen unless you undertake genuine steps to make it occur and a significant element of this is talking things over with the right people.
