subject: Helping The Young Kid Deal With Grief [print this page] The loss of a loved one can be sore and puzzling. Kids start to recognize, perhaps for the first time, the idea of humankind. Stressed to find a suitable way to talk to their fears, young kids arent able to convey how the loss affects them. As parents dealing with our own sorrow, we may reduce their pain. Yet their sorrow is as real and sore as ours. Here are certain ways by correspondence teacher training course course to help a kid deal with the sorrow
Talk Honestly
Use language geared to the kids age level. But be cautious about how you convey your thoughts. Dont say, Grandpa went to sleep forever. This statement can cause kids to linked sleep with dying. Also, telling a kid that grandpa is on a long trip may seem like a good solution for the short-term, but will finally backfire. A kid may wonder if grandpas not returning because the kid did something wrong or because grandpa doesnt love him or her any longer. Even though this is a good time to present religious beliefs, dont say, Grandpa was so good that God took him to live in Heaven. A kid will compare good behavior with dying. Instead, tell a kid that the natural order of things is that when people get very, very old, they die.
Listen
let your kid talk and talk and talk. Be patient. Kids need someone to listen to their fears. Also, dont dismiss a kids sorrow even if it was the death of a turtle or fish that caused the grief. For a first time death experience, the loss of a hamster is as upsetting to a kid as the loss of a friend is to you.
Let Them Ask Questions
some kids will think about a question for months before asking. Others will ask the same questions continually for weeks. Many times, the kid is asking questions in a round-about way because he or she is experiencing guilt. Young kids think their wishes are powerful. If a kid had been annoyed at the person before he or she died, the kid might feel that his or her anger caused the death. Look for hidden clues in a kids questions, if your answers dont totally please him or her. Again, keep in mind to stress that most people die because they are very sick or very old.
Let them see you cry
a parent who stops crying and puts on a smile every time a kid enters the room gives the wrong message. Crying and feeling sad are essential for healing.
Let Them Attend the Funerals, if Appropriate
A kid over the age of six can generally handle the rite and will most likely learn by watching how he or she can deal with sorrow. Remember, the memorial service is not for the dead, but for the living. All of us need to say goodbye.
Have a Memorial Service
if attending the funeral is not possible, have a memorial service. Take the kids to a park, stand together in a circle and say something loving about the dead. Then release into the sky balloons that have notes to or drawings of the dead. This simple act can help a kid start the healing process.
Display Photos of Your Loved One
Having photos of grandma is a way to bring her into every day conversations and lets kids know that once someone dies, he or she is not forgotten. If there are no photos of a pet that has died, have the kid draw one. The excellence of the drawing does not matter. Frame it and display it.
Celebrate the Anniversary of the Death
For the loss of a beloved dog; one family had cupcakes on the anniversary of the death until sufficient time had passed for the kids to adjust.
Plant a Rosebush or Other Flowering Plant in the Persons Honor
a flowering plant, which blooms, dies, and then blooms again, helps kids realize the ongoing circle of life. A plant also becomes a long-lasting compliment to a loved one.
Conclusion
Not all of these suggestions will be right for everyone. As each family is singular, so are our methods of helping our kids with new experiences. Use the suggestions that best fit your family, so that you are better able to help your kid find out to deal with the loss of a respected one.
