subject: A Few Things To Keep In Mind When Coping With Marriage Infidelity [print this page] Will your marriage survive your mate's infidelity? At this juncture only you can answer that question. The reason that it is up to you to make the final decision is due to the fact your spouse has given every indication that they want to remain in the relationship. They've done wrong and know it. They vow to do whatever it takes to rebuild the relationship.
Regardless of whether you remain with them or not is your call but even with that decision in the balance there are a few things to bear in mind.
1. Do Not Freak Out
The future can be scary. It can be particular scary if you have been married for some time and make the decision to go it alone after infidelity. Do not let fear influence whether you should stay or go. You are connected to your spouse in many ways but that does not mean complete and utter dependence. If you choose to go it alone so be it. You may be a little shaky in the beginning but eventually you will learn how to be self sufficient. Better to have a short lived rough learning experience that remain with someone that you feel that you can never trust again.
2. Do Not Give In
In the event that you do decide to hang in there then set some parameters in regards to how things are going to be from now on and stick to them. Your spouse may get angry over these parameters and attempt to do away with them. But the hard cold truth is they must make radical lifestyle modifications before you can even think about trusting them again.. There will be moments when their attitude and effort will be severely lacking. There could also be instances when they try to manipulate you and thereby taking control or the relationship. No matter which way it goes you have to hold your ground.
3. Be Realistic
Your recovery from unfaithfulness may take quite some time so do not let your impatience overwhelm you. Certainly you wish the depressing thoughts and images would go away forever. That goes also for the fear of wondering what your spouse is up to every time they are out of your sight. Eventually all of this will pass but for right now accept the fact that it is going to be there for awhile and the only thing you can do is deal with it.
4. Do Some Cheerleading
Should you see your significant other making a real effort in rebuilding the marriage and earn your trust back then cheer on their efforts. Bring back those date nights and rekindle the romance. Let them know how much you still love and care for them. Acting like some kind of overseer as your mate goes through the process of changing their ways is not going to give them any real incentive to keep doing it.
