subject: Riding Into Risk - Only In My Mind! [print this page] I had spent years talking to people about self belief. In fact, almost daily I spoke to someone about taking risks in their businesses and learning to believe in themselves.
I also realized that for each person "risk" meant something different. For me risk seemed easy when it came to business and so I realized at some point in time "risk" would present itself differently. I learned this year how "risk" would approach me "" and I learned something very interesting as a result.
I learned when I was seventeen to ride a motorcycle. I learned out of necessity as I had no car "" and I needed to get between two jobs. A motorcycle was cheaper than a car "" and it was summer in Vancouver "" so it seemed an easy decision. After summer ended, I sold my bike and went off to University.
Many years later after having my children and long after the risk taking years "" I re-learned to ride a motorcycle. Only this time the bike was 3 times the size and weighed in at about 487 lbs. I learned not only how to ride it safely by taking a course "" but also learned how to lift it "" in case I ever fell or dropped it. (which I did a few times!) I rode for four years before we moved and sold the bike. Three years went by before we decided to get another motorcycle.
The bike we picked this time was a touring bike that I was to ride on the back of. It was very comfortable and my husband did all the driving. It weighed over 807 lbs "" almost double the weight of my last bike - and I was terrified to even ride on the bike. I chastised myself over and over for having fear of riding a bike I knew was safe. But I felt afraid of everything. Afraid of how it would handle in the rain, on a curve or in gravel and terrified I would ever have to pick it up if it fell. I kept saying I wanted to drive it myself "" but deep inside I knew I was scared stiff.
Then one day my husband pulled over to the side of the road in an industrial area. He got off and looked at me and asked if I wanted to try riding it myself. I had no time to panic. He had already told me that he knew I could ride the bike easily "" and I knew if I turned him down he would wonder at my confidence. And so I slid forward onto the driver's seat, started the bike and took it on a 5 minute slow ride around the industrial area. I was amazed. It handled well and I began to regain my confidence.
The next day I asked him if he minded if I took the bike the 35 kms it needed to go to get its first service and asked if he would follow me in a vehicle so we could drop it off. He agreed easily.
I looked forward to the morning I was to take the bike myself and got up to find 60 km per hour winds and the start of driving rain. I was afraid of riding even a smaller motorcycle in the rain! As we went to the garage "" he acted as if he expected ME to ride to the shop. When I asked him if he thought I could handle the weather "" he looked at me and asked "why not?"
I yanked up my courage from my socks "" started the bike and set off on the trip. When I arrived at the shop I got off feeling amazed and euphoric. I could not believe I had done it! The funny part about the entire situation was that my husband showed no surprise whatsoever. In fact he queried me about why I did not think that I could do it.
I realized then "" that I was the only person who had doubted me was myself. I had driven on a highway and passed many vehicles. The drivers in the vehicles never had any doubt that I could ride. I had ridden past pedestrians who saw what I was doing and never once thought to themselves "I wonder if she can do it?" I was my only opponent and the only person who doubted my ability.
Then I began to think about my business. There are days when I wonder if I can do it. Thank goodness my bankers and leasing agents never think this way. And it is a good thing my customers believe in me too. And now I have learned to truly understand the words Henry Ford said so many years ago.
"If you believe you can or you can"t "" in both cases you are right."
So next time you feel that nagging voice that questions your ability to be able to do what you think about trying "" remember "" you are the only one who will ever doubt your ability. Everyone else KNOWS you can do it. Maybe it is time you convinced yourself!
"One of the keys to effective communication and dispute resolution is understanding ourselves and how we think and also understanding how others are wired as well. Each of us has personality styles that are unique to ourselves - however there are also patterns as well. When you understand the differing personality styles and their blends - you begin to see people as they are with more understanding! For more information on understanding personality styles please contact Mandie at president@roaringwomen.com."
