subject: Three Items That Define Our Lives [print this page] Almost everybody picks up three items during the course of their lives, none of which necessarily has any intrinsic value, but which together tell the story of that person's life. Those three items are a collection of high school yearbooks, a wedding ring, and a retirement gift.
Not everybody graduates from high school and collects a diploma. But by law everybody does at least start high school, and so we all end up with at least one yearbook. That yearbook has our picture in it, in which we are always preserved as an awkward teenager. And because of tradition, we also spent the last day of school each year getting our friends, boyfriends or girlfriends, and other classmates to write something on the pages.
The picture is usually more an embarrassment than anything else. None of us are at our best during high school. But the scribbles of our friends and acquaintances mean something. They are the mirror that show us, years later, what other people thought of us. They carry in them the flame of strong feelings that we let go of later in life. They describe us as we were when we were young.
Although not everybody collects a wedding ring, most of us do and almost all of us aspire to. And while an engagement ring is often intended to be expensive and flashy, the wedding band itself generally aspires to simplicity. It may carry an inscription. It may be well crafted with a subtle, but beautiful design. Regardless of its appearance or value, however, its symbolic importance in our lives is tremendous, since marriage is the single greatest commitment one person makes to another.
Each marriage is different, and so the meaning of each wedding ring is different. It may symbolize a successful marriage, full of warmth, love, and support. It may represent a disastrous marriage that ended in deceit and divorce. It may represent a marriage with children, and all the work and love and patience that went into bringing them up right. It may represent the foundation that allowed a person to achieve success - or the obstacle that prevented it. Whatever that marriage is like, it is a cipher that allows us to understand the person who wears the ring because we are best described by the way we enter and regard our greatest commitment.
Just as a wedding ring represents our family life, the gift we receive at retirement bears tribute to our work life. Although the tradition of giving a gift at retirement is changing, since people tend to change jobs more frequently now, that tradition still applies to most of the people retiring today. It shows what we did for eight hours every day, five days every week, for the greater part of our lives.
A person's work provides a great deal of insight into that person, since a career will test every person's integrity and character. Everyone will be asked to compromise a belief for his or her work. We either make that compromise or we don't. Everyone will experience times of extremely hard work. We either rise to the challenge, or we back away. Either way, it shows what we're made of.
It's not much to collect during the course of a life - a few high school yearbooks, a wedding ring, and a retirement gift. But those items can sum up a life in vivid detail.
