subject: Talking Dirty Tips - Practice Makes Perfect, So Try This Tonight [print this page] Talking dirty can be a lot of fun and can give boost to your sex life. It is one of those sexual behaviors people are uncomfortable with the first time they do it. Being an effective dirty talker therefore needs practice and perseverance. To do it well means letting yourself loose, which always feel scary the first time.
Here are some steps to getting comfortable with dirty talk and ideas for introducing into your sex play:
(1) Practice dirty talk when you are alone
Carol Queen, author of the highly recommended Exhibitionism for the Shy, suggests starting on your own, talking dirty while you masturbate. Fantasize about having sex with your partner and talking dirty to them. You can start by doing it in your head, but eventually do it out loud.
(2) Timing is everything
Make sure you are both in the mood. It is the easiest to start talking dirty when you are actually having sex. Both of you need to be quite turned on for it to work, which means you cannot skip your foreplay. Whisper a couple of things in her ear and see what she does, just to test the waters.
(3) "Dip your toe in" to test the water first
Communication is the key to good sex. The first step to introducing something new into lovemaking is to test the waters in casual conversations. A great way is to start with sexy texts or emails. It is often less embarrassing to write something down than to say it straight to someone's face. You can send a short text saying,"I can't stop thinking about having sex with you. I love how my (insert body part) feels when you do that."
(4) Read her an erotic story
This is a good way to talk to her without sounding ridiculous or sleazy. There are plenty of good erotic writers around and you can easily find this in the erotic section of a women's magazine, or even better, a specialized erotica magazine. She is unlikely to be offended if the magazine is of the good quality type. While reading to her, you can take this chance to practice your dirty voice. This is also a fun way to spend time together, whether it leads to sex or not.
(5) Expand your dirty talk vocabulary
Dirty talk is not sexually stimulating if you use clinical terms. Unless your role playing calls for it, avoid clinical terms (like penis). This applies to all parts of the anatomy, with the possible exception of the term "breasts".
(6) Do not talk about family and other women
Try talking to her about her sexy younger sister and she will definitely kick you out of the bed. Do not talk about other women too unless she specifically request it. This can make her feel very insecure and a big turn off.
(7) Find your dirty talk voice
You need to find your own way of talking dirty. Your dirty talk might be low rhythmic grunts, high pitched squeals, or precise whispers. It may reflect your normal way of talking, or an expression of a different aspect of your personality. You do not need to pick only one voice, the element of surprise can add an extra sense of anticipation, when your partner does not know what they are going to get next from your dirty talking.
(8) Experiment with your voice
Most of us do not realize how the change in the tone of your voice can make a great difference and the impact of these changes. Experiment with speed to see how fast you talk. Some things call for you to talk like the speed of a racing car while some things are best said slowly. Change the volume of your voice, try whispering, try screaming, try everything in the middle. You can sound commanding and harsh, trembling and uncertain and somewhere in between.
(9) Make dirty talking a 2-way communication
Once you have taken the risk and initiative to talk dirty with your partner, ask her to do the same. By being on the giving as well as the receiving end of the dirty talk, you may be able to learn a few things from your partner that have not been revealed to you.
(10) Get feedback
While in the midst of your action, it is usually not suitable to discuss about how she feels about your dirty talking. If she does not like it, she does not want to say this out to embarrass you or spoil your mood. To avoid this problem, you can discuss it when watching TV with her or at any time when you are both fully clothed so that there is far less risk of damaging egos. You can talk about which parts you both like and what she dislikes. Keep this discussion light-hearted and fun.
Talking Dirty Tips - Practice Makes Perfect, So Try This Tonight
