subject: He Doesn't Give Me Enough Time and Attention! [print this page] "Your primary sense of self is through your relationshipsas a mother, a friend, and a wife and lover; his is his success as a man."Men Made Easy
A common complaint of women is that their boyfriend or husband is too busy with his work to give them the time and attention they want.
As I explain in one of the Secrets about men inMen Made Easy, a man's work is how he defines himself as a man.' You need to understand this Secret because if you complain, what it feels like to him is you're trying to rip apart his identity, basically, trying to emasculate him. Yes, he's driven to be successful, BUT, and this is key, when you're happy, he feels successful, so much so that if you're unhappy, he feels like a failure.
First, you need to not take it personally. When he was working to win your heart, that was like a job to him. Once that goal was achieved, he went back to focusing on his work. That's when you saw how he relates to his work. Some men can leave their work behind at the end of the day. Some can't. You knew what you were getting involved with. So it's not fair to complain and it makes you VERY unattractive.
When he does give you time and attention, appreciate the heck out of him by telling him how happy it makes you, how good it makes you feel, etc. But not all in one gush. Spread them out. When you do nice things for him, tell him, "I'm doing this as a thank you for, because it meant so much to me." Hopefully he's sensitive enough to notice what he's been doing that makes you happy and that you are showing him how much you appreciate his attention in some pretty special ways.
The primary directive for a great relationship is to approach every situation with the idea of "how can you make this a win/win situation." It's not always easy, but ALWAYS worth the effort.
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