subject: Divorce Mediation For Situations Which Need A Little Help [print this page] Divorce mediation has become quite common in today's divorce proceedings. Couples of yesteryear would take their corners and come out swinging lawyer to lawyer. However, things are different now and the court system wants to stay out of it whenever possible. Even in the middle of the divorce process, things that can't be handled affably will be referred to a mediator.
Couples usually opt for mediation before they even set foot in a courtroom. This allows everyone to work through their issues and keep the drama out from in front of the judge. If this isn't possible, then the judge will stop the progress of the divorce and everything will stand still until the couple agrees. Generally judges don't like to make final decisions on the smaller issues in a divorce, so mediation has been used more often in present times.
The majority of divorce mediation centers around the children. Custody and visitation rights are discussed until everyone agrees on the schedules. This is also the longest part of most divorces. Emotions are obviously running high during a divorce and both parties can feel like they're being railroaded. That's where the mediator steps in and helps push the negotiations along. Mediators prefer to keep these custody discussions face to face so both parents can see the other as a human being, not just the enemy.
After fighting about the kids it's time for most couples to fight about their material possessions. Unless there's a prenuptial agreement, most states consider all your belongings to be community property. The couple must agree on every part of this asset division before the next step in the divorce can be started. It's not uncommon for large ticket items like the house to be sold off during a divorce and the money divided between the husband and wife. These sessions often get just as ugly as the ones about custody.
The mediator isn't allowed to make any decisions in the case. They report back to the judge but only as a record keeper. What is said and done inside the mediation room is confidential. They have to stay impartial and just guide both parties toward an agreement. They bring up issues in a free exchange format so everything can be discussed openly before court. Lawyers are allowed to attend mediation if both parties agree, but the whole point of the session is for the husband and wife to keep some semblance of control over their own divorce.
Mediators don't always work for the court system. Accountants can act as a financial mediator to help couples divide their belongings fairly. Couples with children often requests mediation from a therapist to help counsel the children about the divorce. They also help talk both parties through issues like depression during this difficult time. Often couples involved in their church will have their pastor offer mediation assistance. Many times the church will attempt to counsel before things get bad enough to warrant the divorce, and try to mend the relationship. If all else fails, the church official will stay on as mediator for the couple through the entire divorce.
Divorce mediation can cost a lot if a couple is going through a pretty nasty divorce. These mediations can easily cost $300 each time you go. There are children or major assets you can expect a few trips to the mediator's office before it's all cleared up. Couples are always encouraged to settle their issues in private before mediation is even offered. Mediation should only be used when an agreement just isn't going to happen. If you mediate and still can't see eye to eye, then the case will go back in front of the judge and it's now out of your hands. At least one party always leaves feeling unhappy when this happens.
