subject: About Relationships: Can This Marriage Be Revived? [print this page] My wife left me for another manMy wife left me for another man. How do I get her back?
There are a number of important issues to note about this situation.
Firstly, there is a past relationship that may or may not continue. Two people enter a love relationship for a reason, called a soul contract. They may not be consciously aware of this, but every relationship has an agenda. When the relationship is romantic rather than for example work or relatives, we tend to gloss over the agenda even when it becomes very visible.
Shakespeare wrote in The Merchant of Venice as far back as 1596 that love is blind. This saying was taken up in the Afrikaans culture with the addition of marriage provides the glasses. It appears that this is not just a saying - a research study in 2004 by University College London found that feelings of love suppressed the activity of the areas of the brain that control critical thought.
In this instance it appears that the gentleman (lets call him Jim) is still very much in love with his wife. She may even by now be an ex-wife, but he is still thinking of her as his wife with a sense of ownership.
Jim wants to create the impression that the relationship was perfect until the other man entered the picture. However, no relationship is perfect.
Add to that the fact that every relationship reaches a natural end, and you start to wonder whether there is a future for this relationship.
Of course a relationship can be rekindled, but that is only a success when a second phase of the relationship is part of the soul contracts of the people involved.
So how does Jim get his wife back?
There are a number of things that Jim needs to be aware of.
The first is that he needs to be realistic about what he and his wife left behind. It was not always as good as he recalls, and the way to get a balanced view of the past is to also recognise the downside of every sweet memory.
Secondly he needs to understand that if the relationship is rekindled, it will not be a continuation of the same relationship. Yes, the same people will be involved, but the dynamics of the relationship will have changed completely in that both parties have grown and changed during their separation.
When we are in a love relationship with a person, we develop routines and fixed ideas about our love partners. Where a separation takes place that involves a third party, there is every indication that those fixed ideas were at the bottom of the split. For example, if Jim assumed that he is the man in the house and therefore it is his role to make important decisions about the family unit, he may also have assumed that his wife is happy with the situation without even consulting her. This may have become so stifling for her that she was tempted to leave the relationship rather than continue to try and communicate her needs to Jim.
If this relationship is to be rekindled, the implication is that Jim will have to let go of some of the principles and ideas that have guided his behaviour, and that he will need to be much more aware of his wifes needs and thoughts, as well as of his own realities.
And if the relationship has ended permanently, Jim will have to deal with feelings of loss, rejection, anger and other strong feelings before he will be able to heal and move on to a new relationship.
A psychic reading will help Jim to get some indication of whether there is a future in this relationship, and whether he should continue on his journey to get his wife back.
Of course a psychic reading cannot change peoples futures, but it can give an indication of what is already there in the sense that the outcome is created by both participants. If the cord that binds people in a love relationship is still in place, it may be stretched to the limit, or it may be frayed and ready to break. If the cord is no longer in place, then no matter how hard Jim tries, he will spend his energy on a futile cause.
Are you still pining for a previous partner? Do you live in hope that your past relationship can be rekindled?
