subject: Seeing Beyond Success [print this page] Whenever people ask me the dissimilarity between Life Coaching and Counselling/Psychotherapy, I say: Well I have not myself tried the other stuff, but from what people have told me, I guess that it's more focused on the issue, whereas Coaching is about great possibilities.
This means that coaches, hardcore self-developers and similar people generally go around with a really positive mindset, seemingly inhabiting a life where the sun shines at all times, and where for each of life's difficulties - oops sorry! - challenges, there is a soothing belief/rationalisation/slogan that makes it all appear like one thing that they needed all along. Lost your job? Now I'm free to follow my actual purpose! Boyfriend left you? It was not 'meant' to be! Best friend just died? Everything happens for a reason!
Now don't get me wrong, I believe that many of these people actually do live through very happy lives. I am aware that I generally do :) Nevertheless ... I dont believe in the conveyor belt, in one size fits all, when it comes to the way we respond to whats taking place in our lives.
So possibly there are times when the relentlessly positive isn't what we need to hear. For those times, we need an option - one that acknowledges that we occasionally cannot sidestep or spin our circumstances. Because there is success in our lives, and there is also unsuccess, in several other forms: big and small, material and psychological, internal and external.
Of course saying this is only a reminder of what we really already know. But its even an invitation to behave as if we did actually were aware of it, and to make the choice, to the best of our capacity, to be completely unaffected by the fact that the universe is configured the way that it is (because lets face it, it is, isn't it?)
The ancient life-coachy clich, There is no failure, only feedback can be an extremely empowering slant. But so can It is normal and really OK that we do not always get, or get to keep, what we decided to put on our wish list. Because once we bear in mind that the universe was not designed to be an endless gratification machine for our each and every need and wish, life turns out to be not harder, but significantly simpler!
It disappoints me that in the self-development industry the role models talked about are people who have achieved success enormously (which invariably translates as raking in inconceivable numbers of dollars or by achieving global celebrity status by selling their ideas). Certainly a happy and worthwhile life does not have to be like this?!
It may just be me, but personally I'm a lot more impressed by people who have learnt to accept and live awesomely well with the unsuccesses they meet on their path.
