subject: Dealing With a Cheating Spouse - 3 Proven Ways of Dealing With Betrayal [print this page] Do you have problems dealing with a cheating spouse? I know I did. I felt shocked, lost, confused - totally unequipped on how to handle this devastating blow to my marriage.
What I've learned is: Dealing with betrayal is a process. It doesn't happen overnight. So be kind to yourself as you use these three ways of dealing with betrayal. You're not alone. I hope these proven methods, I've used, helps you start being able to breathe, live, eat and sleep normally again.
1. Find a safe way to face and express your feelings.
The easiest way for me to process my hurt was to journal. I used both pen and paper as well as my computer to vent, rant, express my hate, anger, despair, betrayal, disappointment, etc. I also found it useful to scream into rolled-up towels and start attacking my pillows. I cannot emphasize enough, how important it is to release the emotions, so you don't feel like you're 'dead inside'. Remember, you can't heal what you can't feel.
2. You need to find a way to talk and communicate with your cheating spouse about the affair.
It's natural for you to have countless questions in your mind, and it's right that you get the answers. But how you approach your partner for the answers, will determine whether your marriage can be saved or whether it's doomed to end. I encourage you to seek help from experts about this - so you can communicate effectively with your spouse. Asking the questions 'wrongly' might backfire and cause him or her to lie, clam up or create more resentment.
3. Reclaim your power - by figuring out what went wrong so you can prevent history from repeating itself.
Think about how you cook a dish... Imagine you follow the recipe closely but it turns out to be too salty. After this experience, would you pretend it didn't happen and still choose to use the exact same recipe again? Absolutely not. You would figure out that there was too much salt, make adjustments and attempt cooking the dish again. It's the same when dealing with marriage betrayal. The old recipe didn't work. This time, you must find a new recipe to save your marriage, or there's no guarantee your partner won't cheat again.
Use safe avenues to face and express your feelings, discover how to communicate about the cheating, and do a debrief. These are three small steps you can take immediately, as you work towards overcoming betrayal. Still, there's more to do if you truly want to save and rebuild your marriage.
Dealing With a Cheating Spouse - 3 Proven Ways of Dealing With Betrayal
