subject: Who Are You Without Your Money? [print this page] Who are you? The glitch isyou can't answer with, "I'm a lawyer who drives an SLR McLaren Roadster and has a 3 vacation homes. I'm swept up in lavish parties with Vogue-worthy people. I vacation in Dubai, shop on Rodeo Drive, and don't know the meaning of the words 'wait list.'"
Regardless of how much sand is in your shoes and how much you love the privacy of the East Hampton shore the things you like, or even adore, are not you. What you do and what you have are not who you are.
Now once againwho are you?
Something interesting happens when I invite new clients to, "Tell me about you." They tell me what they do. They enumerate what they have. When I probe deeper and ask, "Who are you really when you're alone with yourself?" The response is usually a blank stare. I respond to the deadened silence by sending them home with the following probing exercise.
Write a thoughtful response to the following questions.
Are you in touch with your own sorrow?
What really makes your heart sing?
What does it feel like to be really alive?
What does utter joy look like to you?
Is the 'story' you tell yourself (and others) about your life true?
Do you know whether your 'story' is true or not anymore?
If you fail does it inspire you or do you die a little inside?
Do you hide every wrinkle on your face and every bruise of your heart?
Do you see strength and beauty in your vulnerability?
Do you stand in your truth no matter what?
Do you alter when you confront despair?
What sustains you when all else falls away?
When you look in the mirror do you love the eyes gazing back at you?
A lot of people can't answer these basic questions. Yet these are the questions that must be answered in order to know and love our true being - unconditionally. If you don't know or don't like the answer to these questions or are feeling miscast in the story of your life, you may be on an exquisitely appointed path that isn't your own.
It can be hard to remember that there are other, better potential versions of you that you can choose to express. If you don't love and have compassion for the whole of you adjust your perspective. Engage a professional, a champion who can hold up the mirror and shine a light on your greatness, the real you.
