subject: Leave Fear Behind For It Will Deprive You Of Great Joys [print this page] Folks hardly ever believe me when I say I would have loads of Anger, but it is true - so true that it totally obscured few of the other exciting things going on in my head ...
As Anger spent less and less time living with me it turned out to be clear that I had one more unwelcome flatmate, far less evident but equally draining of my resources: Fear. Now, when I was angry people noticed, but because I have always had a more positive can-do attitude than the general average, my Fear is not something that I got(/get?) responses on. A pity - it might have been convenient to know.
So what is Fear? How does it surface? It's definitely a question that has attracted a lot of attention in the world of self-development, and pretty rightly so.
Now some of you might be telling, oh yes, but what about the awesome popular quote "Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway"? As I've written somewhere else, I see this (pretty ...) empowering statement as second best. And second best is exactly what you obtain if you do not target the best.
Best is to know that you could let go of Fear, and that suggests to know what it is, and the way it operates.
Fear is the perception that something "dreadful" will, or (more usually) may, happen. And that this is a problem.
Sometimes this sort of fear is about something quite possible - if your boss likes yelling at people and you have just stuffed up, what you fear is a distinct possibility! Several other fears undeniably concern stuff in the "better not go out today - a satellite could land on my head" kind.
My recommendation is not to chip hopefully away at Fear of Satellite-Induced Head Injury Syndrome, but to jump in at the deep end. Yes it's possibly about to happen, yes it's going to be a great deal of unFun, but yes, I have all the resources I require to come through in one piece, probably more powerful and happier for it!
I often go to India. Few people are afraid of India, believing that it's a filthy dirty place full of poor people and beggars, a place where you'll wait for several hours (or days) for late trains, be provided incorrect directions, fall victim to various illnesses, slip on cow dung, and not be in a position to get a decent latte.
And when people ask me what India is like, I normally tell them precisely that (it's true, in fact ...) but with a big smile that says "and that's not anything to be bothered about, but could be heaps of great fun to embrace". And then I generally say "You should go - it's great!" Which it absolutely is. Not just because of the bits I did not talk about (architecture food scenery traditions people ...) but for the reason that I know I have the resources needed to cope with the less fun things, and because I think one of the best favours I will be able to do somebody is to support them to explore that they do too.
