subject: Mentoring Youth: 10 Characteristics Of Successful Mentors [print this page] According to a study of Big Brothers, Big Sisters in the USA, one of the largest mentoring organizations in the world
Be a friend
Dont act like a parent
Dont try to be an authority figure
Dont preach about values
DO FOCUS ON THE BOND
Have realistic goals and expectations
Focus on overall development, not performance and change
Center initial goals on the relationship itself
Emphasize friendship over performance
Have fun together
Youth spell love - TIME
Informal activities lay the foundation for formal ones
Shared activities become great discussion starters
Give your protege voice and choice in deciding activities
Help them to explore possibilities and then make their choices
Listen more than you talk
Question more than you Preach
Be positive
Praise and encouragement build self-esteem
Be supportive rather than critical - focus on solutions rather than problems
Let the protege have much of the control over what the two of you talk about
Don't push, be patient
Be sensitive and responsive to cues
Let them know that can confide in you without you becoming judgmental
Listen
Let youth vent without criticizing them
When you listen they see you as a friend, not an authority figure
Respect the trust your protege places in you
Respond in ways that show you understand. This is not the same as agree
Reassure the protege that you are there for them
Advice should not be dispensed but mutually discovered
If you have to convey concern or displeasure, do it with caring and understanding
Sound like a friend not a parent.... youth easily discern the difference
Remember your relationship is with the youth and not the youth's parent
Maintain cordial contact, but you are not there to be a spy for parents. You are there to be a champion for the youth
Keep your focus on the youth
You are not there to bring about the parents wishes, but to help the youth discover their potential
Be non-judgmental about the family
You are responsible for building the relationship
Take responsibility for making and maintaining contact
