subject: Save My Marriage Today - 3 Tips For Handling Arguments [print this page] . It is very common to have arguments between married couples and can be seen as an indicator of a healthy marriage because thoughts and feelings of both parties are shared. I understand how much you want to explode in front of your partner, and I did it plenty of times before. However, after receiving professional help, I found out that we have to follow certain rules to ensure that our arguments do not turn nasty. And these are 3 tips I have learned to handle arguments.
Tip #1. Do not shout or yell
Usually, if you shout or yell, there will be a possibility that your spouse is going to get annoyed and/or provoked. This may cause your spouse to do something he or she does not mean to and will lead to more unhappiness.
Another reason to not yell or shout at your partner is that he or she may not be able to listen to what you have to say. Arguments happen because either one of you needs to get a point across to the other. So by not being able to hear your point, it defeats the purpose to having an argument in the first place. At the end of the day, no one gets their point across but both of you will end up angry and frustrated.
If both of you speak your mind without screaming or yelling, you guys are less likely to feel impatient, volatile or say something that you do not mean.
Tip #2: Do not bring up past issues
This can be one of the most dangerous things to do in an argument. No one likes to be reminded of their issues in the past, especially if it is hurting.
During an argument, especially if your partner seems to be making more sense, you will tend to find other alternatives to 'get back on level terms'. However, by bringing up past issues, you will risk making your partner angry or upset. And then, he or she might bring up your past issues and the argument will end up being ineffective.
Tip #3: Take time to cool off
This is one of the most effective tip I use frequently when I am upset. I understand the urge of wanting to confront your partner when there is an issue. The thing is, if both of you are filled with anger, it is likely that both of you might do or say something rash and end up hurting each other.
So do yourself a favour. Tell yourself, ' I want to save my marriage today!' Before you unleash your thoughts and anger towards your spouse, take some time off and think about the last time you did it. Did it feel good? Did it feel good after awhile? And lastly, how did you feel after you have cooled down?
One of the reasons that caused troubles in my marriage is that I was not able to handle my arguments. I tend to yell and shout to feel that I was 'more correct' than my husband. We ended up arguing for hours and strain our marriage even further. Follow these 3 Tips for Handling Arguments and you have a more effective and useful session of communicating with your spouse.
Save My Marriage Today - 3 Tips For Handling Arguments
