subject: Surviving Adultery - Guide To Rebuilding Trust [print this page] It's devastating to discover that the person you love and trust has had an affair and left you looking for help on surviving adultery. The upcoming days, weeks and months will be some of the most difficult ones of your life.
If you are like most folks you probably are having trouble eating and sleeping as the thoughts of this heart breaking betrayal is constantly on your mind. The images and thoughts of your partner sleeping with another, makes surviving infidelity more challenging.
For some who have been betrayed there is a questioning or doubt of their adequacy. Sometimes thoughts of not being attractive enough or perhaps not being able to meet a partners needs runs through the mind. Self-esteem begins to be affected and if not addressed properly a bout with depression can happen.
There are some who also question what role they played in causing the adulterous act to occur. Surviving infidelity is not just about recovering for the affair, but it's taking care or your mental and physical well-being.
So now that the affair is uncovered and you have gotten through the difficult days and stages of denial, disappointment, anger, resentment, negative feelings etc, can you rebuild trust? The short answer is yes you can!
Your partner probably is really sorry for committing adultery and truly feels that he or she will never betray you again. Now, it's up to you whether you can trust again, which is vital to surviving adultery.
The only way you will probably be able to trust after an affair is by your partner slowly proving that he or she can be trusted. It's one thing to say you are sorry and will never be unfaithful again but words mean very little, considering you just got caught lying.
Keys to Rebuilding Trust and Surviving Adultery
Make a clear list of what you need your partner to do or not do to help you trust again.
Get your partner to understand the needs you have and what you need to see consistently, over a period of time before you can trust again.
Get your partner to agree to demonstrate that he or she is committed to rebuilding your relationship and surviving infidelity.
Don't include unrealistic expectations and set your partner up to fail.
Agree to review the progress and make adjustments where expectations may be falling short.
Now, your partner may be demonstrating all that you asked but it still may take some time for you to truly trust again. You will not want to experience the painful emotions you felt the first time infidelity was uncovered. However, you will have to make a decision.
Do you trust again since your partner has done everything you asked or continue to guard your heart from being broken again? The danger of not forgiving and trusting again is you will probably not be able to express the love you have for your partner or receive their love and intimacy.
I know surviving adultery is extremely difficult but I know for sure that you can get through this and restore trust and love.
If you don't believe me take 2 minutes and read about an amazing couple here, Affair Repair, and see for yourself why I'm so sure your marriage can survive adultery.
