subject: Save My Relationship - Why Listening Is More Important Than Hearing [print this page] "How to save my relationship" - have you ever pondered this question? Asking yourself whether you and your loved one both want to save your relationship is the first step. A lot of hard work is entailed in repairing a strained relationship and this fact remains the same if you are married or have a common law dwelling with your partner. As long as all parties involved are ready and willing to put in the difficult work and tackle the problem issues then most marriages can be salvaged. In the event that only one person is willing to do what it takes, getting back to a place of happiness in the marriage is seldom achieved.
Only staying to together because it's familiar or for the kids are not good foundations on which one should build a relationship. Figuring out if there is any future between the two parties is based largely on whether or not both of you are willing to commit to weeding through the issues. Steps must be taken to resolve the ongoing problems and it cannot be done by only one individual. Both parties must be willing.
Affairs are usually blamed for the decay of a relationship or marriage. Contrary to popular belief the affair is simply a result of a deeper underlying problem and not the root problem in itself. A lack of intimacy is many times driving factor that cause one partner to stray. Many times people tend to avoid dealing with the affair altogether in hopes of keeping their relationship alive. In no uncertain terms, this is the worst way that you can deal with this problem. The lack of closeness and intimacy that caused the issue in the first place remains untreated. It's often harder to deal directly with the problem instead of ignoring it altogether but the rewards to be had by being straightforward by far outweigh the initial pain that may arise.
Asking yourself how to save your marriage is a normal thing. However, for best results each partner should ask this question of the other partner to find out exactly where their problems lie so they can attack it head on. The only way to get the sometimes painful but necessary truth from your partner is to shut up and listen to them explain their issues with you and the relationship on a whole. Not liking everything that is said in this open time of discussion usually tempts many couples to avoid this part of the process but it is crucial to healing. It is important to recognize that your partner is not saying these things with the intention of causing pain but usually to get stuff off their chest that has been eating at them for quite some time.
Getting an understanding of the real issues in the relationship goes a long way in determining if the relationship should be worked on to salvage it. Before you retire to bed at night it is a good practice to take time off to hear the issues each partner has to voice. When performing this task it is important to really listen to the issues being discussed and not simply hearing them.
A marriage that's on the rocks due to infidelity or lack of intimacy or any other issue can be fixed but the road ahead is long, winding and treacherous. Both people must get this fact so that expectations are set and you know what you're in for. One day you're up and the other you're down. The word sorry is used a lot in relationships and after a while it begins to sound cliche. If you're going to say it, then mean it! The nature of relationships, which is two individuals getting together practically comes with issues but the good new is as long as you open the lines of communication and keep them open these problems can be drastically reduced. A happy life together awaits and can make the question how I can save my relationship obsolete.
