subject: 7 Tips To Deal With Borderline Behavior [print this page] Are you living with someone who has BPD and aiming to comprehend his or her Borderline Behavior?
Are you feeling like you can't live like this anymore and think about exiting this relationship?
Yet you still have feelings for your girl/boyfriend or husband/wife and something from within pushes you to continue seeking the way with him/her?
BPDs have a changeable and detrimental self-concept contrived in the past from the deprecating relationship with his or her mom and dad or other close figures.
Those early life deprecations were perceived unawarely as cues of abandonment of his/her affective and mental needs. A person who went through such a childhood is predisposed to have a high sensitivity toward present deprecations or cues of desertion.
Below you will find seven techniques you can utilize to deal adequately with the borderline behaviors of your girl/boyfriend orhusband/wife.
1) Do not give into his/her manipulative demeanours and do not respond to blackmails. Your BPD suffering dear one needs to get the message that you love and care for him/her, however you will not tolerate all his or her caprices.
2) Be as cool as possible and state that you will discuss only after he/she cools down. This will possibly flare his or her anger nevertheless you need to continue being untroubled and composed.
3) Should he or she wants to use other peoples' presence to force your hand, make it clear that this is an inappropriate comportment and will agree on the issue when alone.
4) Enhearten and support him or her when he/she seems feeling low or frightened regarding work or troublesome ventures. BPDs have low self-confidence and they need to be told constructive and heartening messages from their dear ones.
5) Seek to be creative when he/she speaks in deepreciatory manners regarding him/herself. The downing and fluctuating identity talks in these instances and your girl/boyfriend/spouse needs to see and hear real and positive facts about themselves. If she says she's unattractive, grab a mirror and show her why is she lovely and sexy. If he's saying he is a loser, remind him about his previous successes.
6) Make it clear that he or she will have to pay or compensate for the material distruction. A BPD has to acknowledge that the anger episodes have serious results and he or she needs to handle them.
7) Criticize the demeanours and not him/her as a whole. Remember, BPDs fear insult and invalidation so as a consequence they are highly irritable to criticism. Positive criticism would be a wonderful approach because you do not just point out the negatives, but also describe the way for his/her improvement.
