subject: Girls Boarding Schools Canada - Understanding Entitlement [print this page] Girls Boarding Schools Canada: A Sense of Entitlement Can Be Harmful in the Journey to Maturity.
In trying to take inventory of the basic common characteristics expressed by students at an all-girls therapeutic boarding school, we narrowed our conclusions to four recurring traits: sensitivity, intuitiveness, creativity and intelligence. In uncovering these qualities we had to look through and sometimes around the more obvious and in-your-face expressions such as screaming, over-reaction, swearing, defiance, rudeness, cruelty, violence, crying, temper tantrums, lying, stealing, cheating, petulance, vandalism and others. One common characteristic, however, provided us with a gateway to a deeper insight into dynamics at play: a sense of entitlement.
Being equipped with a sense of entitlement can be a handicap for some adolescents while they are moving through the personal journey from childhood to adulthood. This sense of entitlement can act as a short circuit to real maturity, as an empty substitute for authentic maturity.
Its been our observation that many adolescent girls in need of therapeutic boarding schools arrive with a strong sense of entitlement. We view this sense of entitlement more as a social condition or belief held by the student rather than a personality trait. This belief can overshadow the emotional growth necessary in becoming a mature adult. If strong enough, this belief can rob a young person of self-esteem and invoke the development of manipulation patterns.
Where does this sense of entitlement come from? How does it develop? Is it purposefully cultivated?
Students with a strong sense of entitlement are used to getting their own way. They are not used to hearing the word no and they tend to be skilled at manipulation. They see rules and structure as something for other people. They see themselves as the exception.
We have consistently noticed that virtually every student at the Rocklyn Girls Boarding Schools in Canada who arrives with a strong sense of entitlement also exhibits sensitivity, intuition, creativity and intelligence. Although we are not aware of any study linking these two conditions, we can speculate that sensitive and intuitive children would likely require more coddling in their upbringing and be prone to hearing yes more than no. Because of their sensitivity, hearing no or not getting their own way might be emotionally more painful than for a child who may not be as sensitive and intuitive. Whatever the cause, a sense of entitlement can provide obstacles for adolescents.
Thankfully, we have witnessed the positive emotional growth of such students when they become part of a nurturing structure that can provide the emotional safety and support to re-visit the challenging road to maturity.
