subject: How To Get Your Ex Back - It's Super Easy When You Do This [print this page] After you've given yourself some time to rethink the relationship between you and your ex, you may decide that you want him back. If you've given each other some space to think, he may be as ready as you are to patch things up.
My advice was to halt all communication until you've given thorough thought to the situation - and if you heeded that advice, it's time to make contact again and get back on the relationship highway.
This interim time between being apart and getting back together is fragile and can come apart at the least indiscretion, so caution is the way to go.
You don't want your flight to fall down mid-way on the road to making up. Keep it simple and light, even though you may feel like folding into his arms.
The first contact made may need to be you. Remember to keep it buoyant - ask how he is or, if you know his family, ask about a loved one or a favorite pet.
Mention something that you've been doing that the both of you enjoyed in the past - perhaps hiking on a favorite trail or spending time with a mutual friend.
Gauge when to say goodbye by how he sounds - enthusiastic and excited about your call or cautious and not in the mood to talk. Even though he may want to talk, don't engage him in conversation too long.
You've made contact and now he'll start thinking about old memories of the two of you and how things used to be. Besides, talking too long for the first conversation may open old wounds or dredge up bad memories.
The "getting back together" light was red and now it's yellow - for caution. As you begin to have conversations with each other again, you'll both be cautious about bringing up old hurts and reasons for the breakup.
It's important that you stay away from blaming each other, no matter how much you want to, even when the time is right to talk about it - and you will have to talk about it.
This time may be the only opportunity you have to turn back the clock on your relationship - to rekindle the sparks that brought the two of you together in the first place. To make that happen, you've got to stay away from why the split happened in the first place. That means not bringing up a huge fight, a cheating incident or anything else that can break the spell of this magical time between you.
The only possible reason for bringing up the past is to clear the air about something really important to you before you go on. For example, if abuse was involved, you'll want to know what he's doing to prevent it from happening again.
Chances are, you shouldn't be attempting reconciliation if he abused you in any way. He's shown you clearly who he is - believe him! Other than a drop-dead deal-breaker like that, there's no reason to bring up the unhappiness of the past.
Other than the obvious, like abuse, there's no reason you can't work things out and get back together. But, take it easy at first and gradually get to the point where you can talk about what bothered you (or the reason for the breakup) in the past.
Even if you've made dumb mistakes when you first broke up - like calling and hanging up quickly or calling when drunk and sending lascivious text messages - the relationship isn't irreparable.
