subject: Will "No Contact" Bring My Ex Back? [print this page] Break-ups are one of the most difficult and painful experiences that we ever endure in our lifetimes. Unfortunately, unless you plan on not getting involved with anyone, ever, you will suffer the feelings of rejection that accompany having been left by the one you love sooner or later. Of course, you probably already have, and you might be wondering what you can do to bring your ex back into your life.
Often times, when you suffer a painful break-up, the advice of your family and friends is to cease all contact with your ex. No phone calls. No texts. No trying to bump into them at your old favorite hangout. Nothing. This is what is called "no contact."
"No contact" is sometimes suggested as sort of a trick to get your ex back. The general thinking behind this is that your ex will begin to wonder what is going on with you, why you suddenly don't need their attention any more, and ultimately succumb to their own curiosity and attempt to make contact. But, does it actually work?
In some cases, yes, simply cutting off all contact might manage to arouse your ex's curiosity and maybe even coax them into reaching out to you. However, there are some important things to keep in mind in the event that they do make contact. Your initial response and actions can make or break your chances of reconciliation. Even something as simple as how quickly you respond can ruin all you have worked so hard for.
Many people make the same mistake as soon as they start to make progress towards rekindling their relationship with their ex. As soon as their ex makes contact, whether it is a simple phone call or a text, or it is an invitation to share a cup of coffee, they allow their excitement to overwhelm their self-control. For example, their ex gives them a call, and they not only answer immediately, but they also start right back into their previous display of affection, professing their love, or something along those lines.
Instead, when your ex first makes contact, avoid answering right away. Try to keep them guessing a little, and in turn, you'll keep their curiosity peeked. When you do respond, give them the impression of security by letting them know that you are doing well. Keep the conversation short, and allow them to think that you might even be too busy with other priorities in your life to have time for them right now. Most importantly, be sure to avoid displaying any "needy" behavior, otherwise all of your hard work will be wasted, and you'll be right back where you started.
Using "no contact" to bring back your ex, while not necessarily what the concept was intended for, can and does work in some cases. If you find that it has gotten the attention of your ex, take things slow. Remember that your ultimate goal should be to learn from any mistakes you might have made in the past, and do your best not to make the same mistakes again.
