Some may wonder where this may be on this earth. Please do not be troubled because by the time you get to the end of this article, you will find yourself in the midst of it. However, I want to set out with the description of a charlatan. A charlatan is a pretender and always second rate. His or her reasoning is equally misleading. Often, he speaks with a borrowed voice and acts with false strength.
Charlatans are self-centred. They behave as though they have your best interests at heart while deep down, they are protecting their gains. They are bereft of good and workable ideas but even when they exhibit an iota of such; it is with the intent to delude.
Any land blessed with an abundance of charlatans is doomed and when they are effectively in control of such a land, it becomes a haven of sorts.
Because the charlatans are not good enough, they always feel threatened by the emergence of good people. The charlatans love to maintain the status quo through which they feed and any attempt to change the system of mediocrity that they control is always highly resisted.
A charlatan is a nobody who is sustained by a mediocre network. They are anti-progress and always retrogressive. Every "competent" charlatan believes in embezzlement, liquidation and corruption. Charlatans have an excuse for everything; they are never responsible and hardly own up to their mistakes. They believe in instant wealth and glory because time will expose them.
The "good" charlatans will intimidate you into acquiescence. They often teach bitter lessons and brook neither opposition nor criticism. In their haven, the guiding philosophy is, "if you cannot beat them, you join them." Theirs is a detestable bandwagon of misfits who run the policy of settlement.
One thing very wonderful about the charlatans is that they do not think about tomorrow. They are avaricious and want to squander everything in one fell swoopshare the money. They cheat at every point because in such a land, all things are possible. Their women hawk their bodies to have their way; their men subvert the established system to succeed.
In the haven of unmitigated charlatans, the oneeyed man is the king. It is like the world of "Nwa DC or District Commissioner and Court Clerk in the Icheku drama series, where the incompetent court clerk used bombastic language and wrong interpretation of the DC's remarks to deceive the people and indeed exploited them to the fullest. Of course, you are aware that the drama series reflected certain realities in the land of the charlatans at a point in time.
In this glorious haven of charlatans, known thieves, ex-convicts, Italian prostitutes etc are celebrated without compunction. The charlatans import what they produce in large quantities and export what they do not have. They are famous for notoriety and the law of their land is selectively enforced. There are sacred cows too, and these ones know themselves. They belong to the cult of Grand Commanders of the haven (GCOH). They are untouchable and above the law. They can literally do anything they like and "no fly will fly," according to them.
Because this haven is laden with corruption, everything is counterfeit. You have the wrong people in the right positions and they have no qualms. They believe that everyday there will be a windfall. In this land of "mugus" there are no thresholds, it is smelly and everything is on the side of extremism. It is also a "holy land" because everybody is a prophet yet in the midst of it, criminality is resplendent. They hate themselves in this land, which is also called a den of the survival of the fittest. In this land of charlatans, everything has a monetary value and there are no scruples because as they say, "monkey dey work and baboon dey chop." The haven is as inconsistent as the cloud and the centre does not hold together. It stands at ease when others are marching and runs when others are walking. It is a home of hoodlums and the epicentre of dissension. Because there is stiff competition, strife abound and might is the rule.
In this terrestrial haven, those at the helm hijack so much free money in the air. It is a land, where some are forced to retire while some serve for life. Some retire with their full salary after many years of unbridled cheating and stealing in service while others retire to die in penury.
This haven is a global laughing stock because of ineffectiveness and total lack of progress after 50 years of existence and it is so bad that the citizens now prefer colonial rule, which was once rejected.
The other day, an Arab chief who also subjugates another haven of charlatans and himself a charlatan, spoke aloud concerning this glorious haven in question. However, I am surprised that this "altruistic Arab chief" is being castigated by the maximum beneficiaries of this haven I am discussing, whose birthright is "to loot" everything. It is a pity, my Arab chief. It seems you are not aware that by suggesting a breakup, you are touching the beneficiaries at the very sore point. It appears you do not know that if this haven should split, their power and access to free money will be diminished. Next time please try to crosscheck your facts and other facts of history before opening your mouth otherwise, they will tell the Americans that you are still a terrorist.
This haven of charlatans is like Canaan, the Promised Land, flowing with milk and honey but the masses are heavily impoverished and enslaved by hunger. It is a blank haven, where statistics do not count, everything is presumed and every act is speculative. For the fact that it is a mediocre haven, everybody wants to obtain paper qualification by hook or by crook. Some have gone as far as Toronto, Canada to obtain theirs. It is the haven of a sick President and healthy acting President, what confusion!
The haven is so big but small, it is rich but poor, strong but weak, full but empty, 50 years old but still crawling.
From the outset, I never wanted to give out the exact name of this haven and I stick to that; but you may have known it by logical deductions. This haven is not at Eden but on the plains of Africa. It is gigantic but meaningless because it is beset by systemic failure, breakdown in transmission of electricity, much motion without movement and the corrupt gods are not to blame. In addition, it is a haven of great men and women who the reactionary charlatans often subdue and use.
Recently, I have been hearing "kepukepu" that one of the charlatans, who misled the haven for eight years in khaki, devalued the currency for the International Monetary Fund (IMF) is intent on recycling himself back to power. Somehow, I still take it as a huge joke and reason is that he has many questions to answer and I do not know what he forgot in the seat.
Often they talk about experience in this lethargic haven, however; I know the kind of pervasive experience they mean. It is one that is anti-people and Nigerians cannot be fooled again. Poor me, I have just told you the actual name of this terrible haven.
