subject: Getting Marriage Counseling To Avoid Divorce [print this page] If an issue arises in your relationship that seems insurmountable you may consider that divorce is the way to go. But others surrounding the relationship may think it's fixable and think the couple should receive counseling for help. Will the marriage counseling help to avoid a divorce?
There are many things that can cause conflict in a relationship. No two people think exactly alike, so naturally differences of opinion will arise. It is how each person in the marriage handles the conflict that makes or breaks the bond. Communication is key, since many times the issues that couples fight over are just masking the true underlying problems. Since many people are unaware of this, they will fight endlessly about petty things without ever addressing the root causes of the friction.
Marriage counselors can help couples get through normal issues, but a lot of couples don't go to the counselor until their marriage is about to break up. Finances, in-laws, how to raise children are al the things that arise and appear to be so big there's no way to move fix them, so some look for counseling as a last resort. The nice thing is that sometimes these marriage counselors are able to help repair these relationship cracks and get the couple back on track.
Trained counselors often say that it is not what two spouses are fighting about, but how they conduct the fight, that will determine whether they stay together or ultimately drift apart. Common tactics that work to undermine good communication are refusing to stay on topic, bringing a laundry list of gripes to every conversation, getting personal rather than staying objective, or simply shutting down when issues are raised. A marriage counselor will help the couple recognize these toxic patterns and replace them with healthier ways to argue.
Couples will learn during counseling that an argument between spouses is not about who wins the fight. Both of them can win only if neither of them loses. Becoming a team to battle issues together is the only way to ensure that a marriage will remain strong in the face of life's many challenges.
