subject: Five Stages In A Break Up [print this page] Anytime there is a breakup in a relationship, there are five stages that each party goes through. Recovery is easier with the knowledge of what is involved in each stage.
Stage 1 C Acknowledgment
You need to realize that the relationship has ended. Explore the why later and focus on realizing that it is reality. Many feelings are swirling through you including feeling completely lost. You need to be fully aware of your emotions. Facing the fact that you are having these feelings is more important than why. There is joy around you though you do not feel it. Try to focus on it. Discover how healing exercise can be. You can walk before work, during lunch, or after dinner. A new hobby or craft might be a good idea. Your loved ones might benefit from some quality time. Focus your mind on positive things with activities that lift you up.
Stage 2 C Let it Out
Relief from what is pulling you down is the second of the five stages of a break up. You are not helping yourself physically or emotionally by not letting your feelings out. Relying on a caring friend or relative to share the hurt, following a breakup, can be a wise strategy. Another option, if you do not have anyone in your life to talk with, is a licensed professional counselor. Putting on a stoic gameface may be good enough to convince your friends, but you will gain no emotional benefit from it. You may benefit from a letter to yourself, or even keeping a journal of your feelings. You might find that the sheer act of writing out your feelings is helpful in itself, but you can gain more benefit by reading over those thoughts when you need to.
Stage 3 C Nurturing
Next comes nurturing, the third of the five breakup stages. The environment you choose in this emotional time should be one that can provide the love and nurturing you will need. You need to be able to count on friends and family. Friends and family can be good sources of advice. Assuming that these are people who care about you, they really only want to help. They may say things that hurt your feelings, try not to give in to negative reactions. They want to provide you with help. Looking to defend you, your friends may make negative comments about your ex. Let them know that his actions are not your focus, you want to deal with your feelings and moving on.
Stage 4 C Reward and Fun
Commonly, post breakup, you will feel a sense of loss and sadness. However, you do not have to become depressed and isolated. Get out and just enjoy yourself. Leave for a while. You need to have fun. A good idea might be joining a club. Spend some time with old friends. Have fun with them. Start building confidence and a better you. While you now feel sad, a bold, exciting beginning can develop for your life.
Stage 5 C Moving On
Once enough time has passed you will be able to get past the breakup as nothing more than a part of your past. Then you can focus on the important focus of your future. He will be in the past, your thoughts will now be consumed with new relationships. This will mea you are at the end of the fifth and final breakup stage. You are free to move on.
