subject: Save The Marriage Today [print this page] Most marital relationships have many bumps and rough spots. Sometimes these events cause rifts that are seemingly insurmountable. When these incidents happen you will need a focused attempt to save the marriage.
When confronted with disease in a patient, modern medicine within the urban countries of the world seeks to treat the signs and symptoms of the affliction. Medical researchers, on the other hand, seek to discover the causes of the illness, to allow them to avoid future outbreaks.
Along with your marriage, you have to treat the signs and symptoms as well as discover the reasons of your marital problems. You have to work on healing the symptoms of the relationship problems after which remove the causes so a similar problems will not happen again.
If the issues in the marriage are caused by one or both of you, you must take instant action to change the causes of the problems. If the causes involve one or both of your actions or an indifferent attitude, this problem must be addressed jointly.
It is smart to be organized in the approach to solving relationship difficulties. Create a list of the issues, the accountable party and what actions need to be taken to change the problem into a constructive outcome.
Have your partner make up their own list and then have a calm discussion and discuss each list. You need to jointly make your mind up what each of you will do to save the marriage (assuming that your partner is a willing participant in saving what you've together).
Normally, using an organized tactic needs some of the emotions from the process. After you have decided on a specific course of action, put the strategy into effect without delay. Discuss your development with your lover on the day by day basis.
If you're handling an uncooperative partner, one who thinks she or he is the "wronged" party, next you will have to resort to other means to persuade your other half to remain in your marriage.
In this case you can present your partner with your list of what you are going to do in making your marriage better. When it is clear that you are working to better things, you might suggest that the spouse prepare their own list.
As well as your list of planned actions, you must also get ready a listing of all the reasons to save the marriage. Create a balance sheet showing assets on one side and liabilities for the other. Go over it with your partner if they are willing to discuss it.
If your partner is still unwilling to discuss your problems, you might want to seek help from an unbiased third party like your clergyman or a close friend or couple who your partner respects and to whom they will listen. Ask this party to go over the balance sheet on your marriage with your mate.
It is much easier to remain in the situation than it is always to change. Many people reject changes in their lives. They're much more comfortable with familiar surroundings, activities and relationships.
Should you show you are willing to work the kinks out of your marriage, a lot more than likely your partner will be amenable to it as well.
If either one of you has erred greatly, you both must be reminded that "to err is human, to forgive is divine." Be divine.
