subject: Zesty Relationship Refreshments [print this page] You're sitting on one end of the couchYou're sitting on one end of the couch. Your significant other is sitting on the other end. It's been a long day. You look at each other with care-worn faces. So, is this what your relationship is all about? Working hard, making a house your home, perhaps raising kids, making family and friends feel welcome, and then there you sit. Exhausted and lifeless. To one another, you both look really tired and uninteresting and unexciting. You both need to get out of your goldfish bowl and start looking at each other again in a new and pleasant way. A few simple steps can change what seems a dreary existence (it really isn't, it's just that neither of you realize this right now) into a life of continuing challenge and even fun.
Yes, fun. And interesting and fulfilling and exciting. We all want our relationships with our significant others to flourish so that the adjectives used in the few preceding sentences are needed to describe them. And include "Zest!" Well, give it half a chance and you'll soon see that your lives are only dreary because you haven't been communicating enough with each other. You haven't connected in a way that was so important to you both when you were starting out together. The thing is, you've been too swamped with the wishes and desires of others while trying to hold true to your own as well. You both need to figure out a way to be alone together. So you can sit back and look at all you have accomplished together.
The house is crowded with friends and family. The air is stuffy with laughter and cooking. A cool misty moon is peeking through the curtains. Turn to your significant other, hold your finger to your lips in a conspiratorial way, and nod your head to the door. Sneak to the door and grab your wraps. Give a wink while putting your finger to your lips once again. Carefully open the door and let the two of you sneak out. Help each other with your coats. Watch your mingled vaporized breath float skyward in the lamplight. Give each a quiet giggle, a hug, and a kiss. Take a walk.
Take a long walk, take a short walk. Walk briskly or sashay holding hands. Talk or be silent. There are no rules except being alone together. You might try morning walks, too. The best thing about walking is that it puts a couple on the same level physically, mentally, and even spiritually. It is not so rough as to prevent thought or conversation. It is being together doing the same thing. It can be compared to sex. Really. And, you can take walks in the mornings or whenever you feel like it. They don't require reservations.
The house is empty. Nothing is on the agenda for this weekend afternoon. The kids are off. Friends are busy with the peculiarities of their own lives. A steady rain, promised by the weather man to continue all day, is nourishing the trees and the plants of the dry city. You are reading the paper, your significant other is reading a book. The big gray cat is lounging on the ottoman, swishing its tail in slow circles. You and your significant other are together yet alone. It's time you took opportunities such as this to be alone together.
Get out a deck of cards and hurl a challenge into the still air. The alarmed cat will jump off the ottoman and run away, leaving a good space for card playing. Play a fun game, play a thinking game. Before you know it, you will both be chattering at each other about all sorts of things, and not just the card game.
Watch how your partner plays the hand, watch the mind work, watch the way in which losing and winning is accepted. Simple things like this is are so pleasant, so revealing, so lovely. Card playing is another way of connecting once again. Friendly rivalry is a good way to play.
Going out for a walk will energize you and exercise your body, as well as give you time alone with your partner to think and reconnect. Playing cards allows you to learn something new and exercise your brain. There are dozens of games you can learn to play with each other or with friends and a little light competition and fun rivalry can boost the energy in your relationship.
