subject: Is Energy Positive or Negative? [print this page] Have you ever wondered what you are here for? Have you ever taken the time to look within yourself and wonder what your purpose for being here on this earth is?
Being raised one of Jehovah's Witnesses I wasn't taught about living multiple times or having past lives. I was taught that we are a brand new creation; we live our lives in harmony with Jehovah God. When we pass we become dust and await a resurrection. Some followers desire within their hearts to serve with God in heaven as part of the 144,000. These ones will rule as kings and priests. Others desire within their hearts to live here on earth in paradise conditions. There was no such thing as experiences with angels or spirits in a positive light. If anything like this were to happen, a negative twist would be put on it as a demon causing harassment.
As I grew older I started to doubt this way of thinking. I would have a reoccurring dream throughout my childhood and all through my 20's. This dream had a major impact on me. It happened regularly and scared me to the point of not wanting to go to sleep. I remember being right around five or six years old when they started. The dream consisted of me as a grown up, maybe in my late 20's. I was driving what looked to be like an older faded out Jeep Wrangler style vehicle. The top was off and there were no doors. I had a male passenger riding with me. We were laughing and driving up a narrow road on a mountain. I was going fast and as I rounded a corner I drove off the road and we were airborne. I always woke up on the way down.
As a child I didn't know what any of this meant and I didn't know why I kept having this dream or nightmare. I wanted it to stop and would pray every night that it wouldn't happen. I never told anyone about it. The interesting thing about it was that I knew it was me in the dream; I never had any doubt about that. With the teaching I had been given how could this be? How could I have a dream about me being much older if living a past life was hogwash? How could I mentally and physically experience such a "dream" if it hadn't actually happened at some point to me? How does a young child experience the sensation of free falling and losing your stomach when they have never experienced that sensation before? I remember the first time that I got on a roller coaster ride. My father loved them and he talked me into going with him. The first hill that we went down and that feeling came over me, it almost put me into a state of shock. I was horrified; I had just experienced that sensation for real.
I was in my 20's when I had told my husband about the dream. It had happened again the night before so I started to share with him what the dream was about and that I have had the dream since I was a young girl. He was one of Jehovah's Witnesses also and of course had no explanation for me. I had told him that I thought it was weird to have a dream like that my entire life and to know that it was me in the dream.
I began considering leaving my husband and the organization after many years of praying of my unhappiness. This way of thinking would not be looked upon favorably within the congregation. The thing that I found interesting over time was that while I was praying about this I would have a peace come over me that calmed my anxiety. If I would pray for God to help me find love again for my husband or pray to feel complete within the congregation the anxiety would skyrocket. There was no peace there at all; I tried for years to gain peace and happiness in that marriage through prayer. I had to finally realize how prayer was trying to guide me. The Witnesses would think this was ludicrous. There is no possible way God would be leading me to divorce and to leave the only true religion. After many years of praying I began to trust that if I wanted true happiness I needed to sever ties and move on.
When I was 33 years old, I left the religion and was disfellowshipped or ex-communicated from Jehovah's Witnesses. I left my husband of 14 years and all the people that I had known from the time I was six years old. This was a bit of an adjustment for me but I could not have been happier. I felt free. Prior to me leaving, my prayers were not only focused on how unhappy I was in my marriage; I also prayed about how unhappy I was with the man made rules placed on individuals within the religion, how judgmental the followers were, and that everyone cared about each other conditionally. What I mean is that although we were taught that God loves unconditionally, we as followers could only associate with those that followed the rules within the congregation. If someone deviated from these rules they were either marked as bad association or in time disfellowshipped and all association was severed. So although I had known these people the majority of my life time, if I were to leave the organization they were not to have any more contact with me. How is that being a friend to someone or loving? That is why I say they are taught to love only conditionally. It is a very contradictory way of teaching. They are taught to be God-like but only when they say so.
I felt as if I was a stranger in a foreign land. With no more contact with any witnesses I began to really see things in a different light. I guess the best way to describe it is I started to see life with so much more color. My prayers continued to become even more deep and loving. I felt as if God had literally picked me up and carried me for a distance and was gently putting me down. I felt privileged to get away from the religion and I also felt privileged to learn the difference between being spiritual and being religious. God had truly blessed me. I felt that it was my responsibility to learn more about what my purpose for being here was and learn more about all the qualities that we are born with. We know that God is a spirit or energy; we were made in his likeness so we are also a spirit or energy. How we choose to use our energy determines if we are a positive force or a negative force.
We were all born with free will. Being created in God's likeness this would be a good thing. We are all born knowing the very basics of right and wrong. The bible seems to put a negative twist on this though. It is almost as if we as imperfect humans need religion to help guide us in managing or controlling this free will. With that being the case do we still have free will? I've seen families that consisted of a father and the mother being alcoholics and having a child to care for. They are more involved and concerned about their habits then to give that child the proper raising. After years of living within that situation the child rises above the lifestyle their parents have chosen to become an individual who excels in choosing a different way of life for themselves. I would praise the child in their efforts and have them say that they didn't want to be anything like their parents. They made that choice based on their own free will. They were able to determine the difference between right and wrong for themselves. Did they need to be involved with religion or go to church to make this decision? What about a young teenager going to a school party and being surrounded by peers that are drinking alcoholic beverages. When they are offered some to drink they refuse. They don't want to cause shame to their family or get in trouble with the law if they were to get caught doing so. Did this young teenager learn this from being involved in religion or from going to church? No, this was a decision that young teenager made based on their own free will to determine the difference between right and wrong.
Before the writings within the bible were compiled was there any organized form of religion? Did individuals meet at a location that was designated or constructed for worship of God? There is nothing stated within the bible that leads us to believe there was. When organized religions started to be formed people started to conform and the sense of spirituality was somewhat replaced with being religious. Can the two go together? I believe that they can however, religion throws judgment into the mix. Religion judges those individuals who choose to live together instead of getting married. Religion judges those who are gay. Religion judges those who choose to be pregnant out of wedlock or those who choose not to be pregnant and abort. Religion places judgment on individuals instead of allowing people to use their own free will and make decisions based on what is in their own best interest. No one else can make these decisions. Spirituality and being in touch with God and our own God-like qualities allows for an individual to have their own personal relationship with God. It is to God alone that we answer to for our actions and choices we make. It is to him alone to judge our choices. It is him alone who truly knows us inside and out, why we are the way we are, and why we make the choices that we do.
Is it fair enough to allow people to live their own lives and make their own decisions? Is it our place as another imperfect human to cast judgment? At some point in our life we need to make ourselves our biggest priority. We need to focus our attention on ourselves and what type of energy it is that we possess. Do we use our energy in a positive force or a negative force?
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