subject: Surviving an Affair [print this page] The destructive impact of an affair has a devastating effect on those involved, not only the spouse, but the children, the wider family and even friends. When an affair is discovered, emotions run totally wild, and a hollow feeling of betrayal coupled with a feeling of being alone blot out the happiness that was there before.
But through this devastation of soul, there are ways to move on and survive an affair, and even come out victorious. There is
help available to go through a step by step process to rebuild your relationship and trust. It won't be easy, and it will take a bit of time, but it is possible to rebuild your shattered life.
There is a lot to be done. Boiling emotions have to be brought under control. Negative thoughts have to be redirected and trained to look for the good in a bad situation. Life has to go on amid all the chaos - bills come in, a job has to be done and colleagues dealt with while simultaneously dealing with your own heartbreak, the fridge will still run out of milk, the kids still have to get to school, friends will still pop around for a visit - and this is a hard and rocky time for any person.
Then you have to work through the issue of forgiveness, and acceptance of the fact that what has happened cannot be undone, and it just has to be dealt with. Although forgiveness seems to be a totally impossible mission, it ultimately benefits you, the wronged party, the most of all. It's like an expensive investment where the return on investment is really, really good!
To try and do this all alone is really difficult. Even more so since your thoughts are mixed up, and it's hard to concentrate or motivate yourself to do things. At a time like this it's good if you can find a trusted friend to confide in and unload some of your problems, thus making your load lighter. A problem shared is a problem halved.
The bottom line is that with the right help, your marriage can be saved, and you can rebuild most of what was lost. Why let the "other woman" win? Your spouse once chose you out of all the other women around to marry, so there's no reason why that spark cannot be rekindled. So don't give up hope. Fight for the life you once had, and believe that you can win your marriage back.
