subject: What Causes Borderline Personality Splitting? [print this page] Perhaps the greatest issue a borderline personality sufferer is having in any relationship is the fright of abandonment, which in numerous cases also includes a phobia of punity, devaluation, or critique from important others.
These apprehensions are stemming from childhood or puberty when the sufferer faced painful and undermining encounters with his/her important individuals. Throughout childhood those significant people were embodied by his/her father and mother or caregivers, while during the teenage years it can also include friends and girl/boyfriends.
The early painful life experiences weren't forgotten, but "kept" in the unconscious waiting for an answer. Also they turn into relationship models from the BPD sufferer view point which set up the unconscious expectations in subsequent relationships and interactions with other significant individuals, thus the fright of being left alone.
How?
Bearing in mind that the early experiences (i.e. when a human does not own the necessary life experience and mental methods to overcome aversive interactions) with important individuals were abusive, downing, repulsive, or insensible, one will unawarely assume that all the subsequent relationships and interactions with significant ones will be the similar.
Thus the almost ongiong abandonment fear.
So what can you do to dodge a borderline personality splitting?
If you are the one who suffers from BPD, one simple technique to dial down this abandonment angst is to identify realistic and reasonable traits in your spouse/partner that are indeedy indicating that he/she isn't preparing to depart from you, or to judge, scourge, or critique you as a whole.
Moreover if your spouse or partner behaves this way on sound motives, ask him/her to express it in a more temperate way with attention to your past traumas.
In addition, instead of jumping into conclusions that can quickly drive you to fury outbursts and impulsive behaviors, make yourself a priority out of halting for a second, taking three deep breaths, and to only than analyze the real message of your spouse or partner.
And also ask him/her to read through my free ebook "Surviving The Hellhole" where he or she will discover crucial facts about borderline personality splitting as well as free tips and advice to ameliorate your relationship.
Moving on, if your spouse/partner is the one who is having borderline personality, you will need to deal with his or her angst of abandonment in order to start to improve your relationship for the better.
