subject: Helping Elderly Parents Downsize From The Family Home [print this page] If moving across town in the prime of life is stressful, then certainly downsizing from the large family home in later years can be a cause for major anxiety and upset. When helping your elderly parents or relatives through this passage, there are some important issues to keep in mind:
* Do your homework - hiring a moving company that is experienced in working with older individuals will help smooth the way. Local movers who will take special care with delicate items and keepsakes should be on your short list.
* Work with professionals - there are real estate firms that specialize in working with the elderly. They can manage arranging for the cleaning, moving and trash removal if the home is to be sold.
* Consult an estate attorney about the legal aspects of this stage of life. Think trusts, power of attorney and the like, especially if the family home is to be retained.
* Schedule the move in smaller, manageable increments. For example, in a normal housing market you might consider securing appropriate housing and completing the relocation before selling the home.
Make your parents a part of the decision making process. They are not children. They are, however, probably feeling out of control. Be aware that deciding which possessions to discard or give away can be as emotional as leaving the home. One way to alleviate this is to talk about how donating tools or clothing can help someone else in need. Perhaps your parents already have a favorite charity or are already aware of agencies that could benefit from their quality donations.
A good way to ease into the move is to start in a room with a low emotional association. Packing out the guest powder room, for instance, will be quick and mostly impersonal, and when completed could actually be energizing. It is especially important to be extra careful with packing collectibles. Helping with this task is another booster and shows respect for what is important to your parents as individuals.
Another way to help with this life transition is to start early. As Baby Boomers move into their retirement years, they are wise to start downsizing as their space needs decrease instead of postponing the move (or moves) until it becomes difficult and more stressful. This also means not holding on to children's school projects, sports equipment or outgrown toys. At some point, decide to donate, discard or disperse to the kids.
Discussions on stages of life and where to live it are usually easier to have in advance of need. For instance, perhaps the early retirement years can be spent "at the beach," and later on, a retirement home or assisted living facility will be appropriate.
So, before it is time to call your local movers, start the conversation about this important step. With good planning and communications, downsizing can be a life adventure and even liberating, rather than being a defeat.
