subject: The Best Way To Get Over A Girl - Never Look Back [print this page] Dealing with the end of a relationship can be a confusing time; lots of thoughts, feelings, memories and un-answered questions still floating around. Two of the most commonly asked questions are "How do I know it's really over?" and "What's the best way to get over a girl?" We're going to deal with them both.
Want the quick answer? Take charge of your own destiny and make a decision that it's over. Right now. Never to be started up again. In all seriousness, this is the swiftest way to begin the moving on process. Your brain doesn't like open and un-finished loops and if you're still holding the door part way open, you're not going to start moving on just yet. I appreciate that there are a few different scenarios that could be at play for you currently, so let's run them out:
1. She broke up with you and told you it's over.
This is probably the simplest one to answer - just accept it. Take her at face value and accept her decision. If she's been quite clear and explicit with you (like dating someone else) the worst thing you can do is to chase her. It won't do your own self-esteem any favours and isn't effective either. If you two were to get back together, it would only be if she decided to, not because of any persuasion on your part.
2. She broke it to you gently and kind of said it might be over, she's not sure, she needs time to think and search her feelings... etc.
This is a tricky one, because it could be genuine or it could a "let you down easy". Take a look at the additional evidence around you - is she seeing someone else? Does she look happy or do joint friends say she's happy? If she's turning cartwheels, looks relieved, and is getting on with things, this is a no-brainer. If she appears upset or regretful, set yourself a time limit to wait for her and STICK TO IT.
As we said at the start, the best way to get over a girl to be decisive. Under no circumstances tell her how long she's got, no-one likes emotional deadlines - at the worst case she could decide to get back together with you for a while and then end it again.
3. You both agreed you should part.
Job done. Beautiful. Mutual adult consent. Remember, you agreed to it.
4. You're not sure whether you love her anymore, and asked for a break.
You're going to have to be honest here - what was your motive for the break? Was it a genuine time out to search your feelings, or was it something else? If it was genuine, do the decent thing and let her know when you're going to get back to her and whether you want to date someone else or not. If you're having trouble deciding what you want going forwards, answer these questions truthfully:
Does she make you feel alive, and is she fun to be around? Can you see yourself with her in three years time? Do you love her to the exclusion of all others?
5. You dumped her.
Why on earth are you looking at this? Seriously, if you ended the relationship you must have had a good reason so go out and start to enjoy your new life. The farming community have a saying "He who turns his hand to the plough should never look back." The best way to get over a girl is to be focused on what you want for the future and then to go out and enjoy getting there. Lots of fields need ploughing... get to it!
