subject: My Angel's Erotic Night At The Opera (Part One) [print this page]
It was a dream like few I have ever had, full of all that I could hope that my visions of the night might include yet before I commence this story; I would like to talk about what preceded my dream. In all truth before I met my dear teacher, I was never one who might be considered an opera fan yet it was he who raised my curiosity concerning this art form which I had always considered to be stuffy and boring. It was in fact, my dear teacher who started me on the road to becoming an opera fan. First by telling me the stories behind several operas which included "La Traviata", "Aida", "La Boheme" among others and then by sending me links on youtube; where I might listen to those lovely arias which truly caught my attention for not only their passion but the tenderness with which they were sung.
Naturally, I not speaking Italian would not have understood what they were about if it had not been for my dear teacher, who translated them for me. This so that I might understand what was so special about arias such as "Che Gelina Manina" and "O Mio Babbino Caro" along with many others. It in all sincerity would be fair to say that he (who refers to me as "my angel" and "Joannuszka Slisznuszka") is the one who is responsible for my newly found love of opera.
When saying this I must also declare that my dear teacher had on many occasions requested that I escort him to the opera yet being a married woman; I did not really understand what his aim was. For I was of the idea that he sought but to exploit the occasion so that our evening would end up in a sexual encounter and the opera was but a pretext yet it did not take me long to realize that this was far from the case. My dear teacher even having written a book entitled "New York's Opera Society" which though I have not read all of, am familiar with its content along with several of the articles he has published on the subject of opera. It was all this which made me see for myself that my dear teacher, only wished to share his love of this which he considered amongst the highest of cultures with me. I being the one he referred to as his angel and sometimes as a "gappeluszka". This being an expression he made up from the Polish word "gappa" which means something between "silly" and "dumb".
As for my dream, it started strangely enough with me already finding myself at the opera house in Warsaw which is officially known as "Teatr Wielki". It was not so much that I was there for the first time, as in fact I had been there as a child with my parents yet what amazed me was that I found myself looking for my seat which just happened to be in the balcony. As I headed for my seat, I remember feeling excitement that I was going to be seeing the opera "La Traviata" which in fact was the first opera my dear teacher told me about yet what grabbed my attention the most was that I was not in his society but only my own.
This factor seeming very odd in deed as without my dear teacher, I would have never even thought about attending an opera yet I thought that perhaps his instance had finally paid off that I should. I took my seat as can be expected and it did not take long for the opera to start and what a thrill it was to finally see those singers acting out the story, my dear teacher had told me while I heard them sing the lines I already knew. It felt much like reading a book and then seeing the movie yet there was another factor apart from comparing how I had envisioned the story in my mind with the film and this being; the joy of hearing live music.
The start of "La Traviata", I remembered as being joyous despite its ending being anything but that and it was just as the aria "Libiamo Libiamo Ne' Lieti Calici" started that I became fully wrapped up in the opera, enjoying it as I could only imagine my dear teacher would be if he were with me. This aria, I had already heard several times on youtube yet there was something about hearing it live that made me be able to almost breath it in as well as listen to it. It was also during this aria that I could not only feel my dear teacher's presence in my mind but as if he were there with me, watching my every move from the seat next to me. After all, he had been the one who was perhaps even more then indirectly responsible for my being there that night yet I was alone though I in all truth could not escape the idea of how his absence left a large void in my ability to completely enjoy the opera. This perhaps being why I sensed his presence. As if he were next to me, gazing at the expressions he has told me time and time again; he enjoys so much which I tend to make with my mouth and eyes.
The aria ended with the applause of all those present and as I started clapping my hands, I suddenly felt a kiss upon my check which could not have been any sweeter, so nice did these lips caress my face that I was left without any options but to look and see who had created such a sensation in me. I, however at this point was not at all surprised to see that it was my dear teacher whose kiss had caused my body to shutter; as it had in other dreams which he had been a part of. My slisznuszek, was there and I was looking at him and not even wondering how he had gotten there but grateful that he had, for the night as far as I was concerned could not have been complete had he not been there. I even got the sensation that it was my wishes which had transported him there, already dressed in his black tuxedo and bow tie and though I smiled at him as he did me; I was slightly annoyed at him for having arrived late. This leading me to believe that I might have to see "La Traviata" without my slisznuszek yet my happiness at seeing him quickly erased any ill sentiments I might have had at his not being there from the start.
The opera went on and the more I saw of it, the more I enjoyed as my slisznuszek explained in my ear with whispers what was going on which made everything all the more agreeable. In all this, I also I finally started to understand what he meant when she said that I was a woman of elegance who belonged in this world of opera and culture. Sadness also crept in me for the main character Violetta, who was a good woman but had fallen ill and gave up the only man she had ever loved in order to save him and his family from the dishonor; his father claimed she was causing. I, must also confess that though I gave creed to my dear teacher's words of being a lady of sophistication, who completed the opera scene with her presence; I did start to wonder if all this was exclusively because of him. This causing me to feel that perhaps it was he who had made me what I knew I could be but only with him and not on my own or with any other. I was enjoying the opera and all which surrounded me yet I wondered about many things, such as my own marriage and if perhaps there was something else apart from what I had known till then which went beyond even the opera.
It was during the second intermission that I went to the ladies room but the truth was that I did not go to merely powder my nose but to ponder the meaning of this whole evening and what impact if any it would have on my life; apart from this night and the opera. I had always been a faithful wife to my husband despite my having taken the step of marriage not as in love with my husband as he with me nor desiring him to the same extent as he did me. It being my believe at the time that what I felt for him would either grow or at least suffice yet this changed when I fell in love with my dear teacher. This happening despite my having been dead set against our having any contact which went beyond our lessons in the languages which I had hired him to instruct me in.
How easy it was for some women to simply make love to one man despite being married to another yet this was not the case for me. I could not be with two men, for I had to be with one or the other, all the way yet my slisznuszek was one I could not get out of my mind or my dreams and to a certain extent; I felt I was being unfaithful to my husband just by being there with him at the opera. In all this, I also thought about what a lovely world my slisznuszek had introduced me to and how I did feel at home in it; as if in fact I belonged to it yet did this mean that all I had known before had been erroneous for me. This as if socially speaking, I had been born in the wrong place in the world with people who neither cared for opera or spoke more than one language or had traveled the world as he had.
All of these thoughts added to my confusion and the stress I was feeling, as time was going by with me still in the ladies room and the opera getting nearer to its end while I could imagine my slisznusznek worrying about me. I even felt like leaving everything and my slisznuszek; as the strain on my nerves was too great yet I knew I would hate myself if I were to do something of the sort to my dear teacher. He after all did not deserve to be left without as much as a good bye on my part yet going back to see "La Traviata" die also added to my sadness which increased the burden which I was placing on my nerves. I had reached my limit or perhaps brought myself to the edge yet despite of which one it was, I fainted in the ladies room from the pressures I was placing upon myself or perhaps like many do; I was drowning in a glass of water.
