subject: Impact and Influence in Action – Where Are They With This Issue? [print this page] Negotiation is, or should be, about reaching a wise outcome to a situation which needs resolution. The nature of any negotiation is that, at the start, there are differences. These need not be areas of conflict (although that is often a starting point) but could be different perspectives, expectations, interests or desired end results. If the parties involved are interested in Win/Win then the process of negotiation is there to accommodate these differences, or remove them in some way, so that an outcome can be achieved.
To have lasting impact and positively influence the outcome you need to understand what the differences are. In a way you could be the least qualified person to do this. If you are strongly attached to your own position, expectations and desired end results you may not even want to hear things which will obstruct you in getting what you want.
Just like waiting at traffic lights you need to engage neutral for a time and get out of the gear marked "Drive". Unless you understand what the current situation means to the other person and why it is a problem you will not be able to craft outcomes and solutions which address the real needs.
Without the underlying problem or issue being addressed the job of negotiation isn't done. "Buyer's remorse" is the condition people suffer who have found themselves agreeing to something they wish they hadn't and it's as prevalent in change management as in sales. You have not influenced successfully if they haven't actually changed their mind and adopted a new behaviour; saying or doing something differently.
In the Hale Circle of Influence this part of the map is called "Problems". If that seems too conflictual for you, think of it as "Perspectives". In either case you need to understand what it is about the situation or position that is an issue for the other party or parties.
One of the biggest surprises to the negotiators, influencers and leaders that I coach is the role of questions in being a consistently successful negotiator. The best influencers and negotiators use many more questions than the least successful fact.
So what are the questions you need to ask that tell you where the other person is with the situation? They are the questions that talk about "them" as much as the situation itself. They are the questions which seek to find out what's going on for the other person.
So "What's the problem?" is not very elegant and suggests something that may not be true. The better question is "How is this situation affecting you?" or "What's your thinking about this situation?" This may seem a subtle difference but it's vital. You are exploring, in a non-challenging way, what their thinking is rather than directly talking about the situation and this is a rich source of information for you to use in developing solutions and outcomes that will last. Only then can you say you have had personal impact and been of influence.
The best way to prepare for influence by design (rather than by accident) is to complete the ClearWorth Personal Impact and Influence Questionnaire (the PIIQ) and receive a fully customised 10 page report on your strengths and weaknesses and unique insights into how to work with the other person.
Impact and Influence in Action Where Are They With This Issue?
