subject: I Can't Get My Ex Back After Cheating – What am I Doing Wrong? [print this page] I can't get my ex back after cheatingI can't get my ex back after cheating. I know I've messed up in the past and I want to make things right. What am I doing wrong? Why can't I get through to my ex? Do I deserve this for cheating in the first place?
Cheating is a big deal in any relationship. The problem is that it is a big deal to different people for different reasons. The one thing you need to figure out and handle before you even think about how to get your ex back after you've cheated is what it is about your cheating that makes it a big deal for your ex and overcome any objections your ex might raise before he or she gives them voice.
It's a successful advertising policy and if you watch closely you'll find that many commercials employ this technique. They continue to use it because it is so effective. One recent example was a campaign by corn producers to show how good corn syrup really is. They did it by having one person start to make an objection and then successfully invalidating the objection before it is even fully formed.
If you aren't sure which objections are going to carry the most weight with your ex it's a good idea to come up with a few good arguments that will invalidate the objections you feel are most likely to be raised. Here a few common reasons people are reluctant to forgive, forget, and move on after they've been cheated on.
1) Precedence of dishonesty. There are many people who feel more betrayed by the lies told during the cheating than by the cheating itself. Your spouse, partner, lover, or whatever the case may be, needs to feel as though he or she can trust you without fail. When you began telling lies because you were cheating that trust was broken. Your mission now is to establish a history of honesty outside of the cheating and reminding your partner that it took a while to build in the first place and you're willing to work to get there this time around.
2) Spanning the gap. Another common problem that cheating causes in relationships is a wall between the two of you. Distance, walls, gaps, etc. can be difficult to overcome in the best of situations when the distance between you is the result of cheating it's a double blow to heart, mind, and ego. You have to convince your partner that the two of you together can bridge the gap and be closer than ever before if you both work to make that happen.
3) Sometimes it is the sex. Sometimes it's all about the sex. This is one you'll need to tread carefully with. While it may have been just sex to you, it means a lot more to your partner. You're going to have to convince your partner that you are a changed person as a result and will never betray your partner that way again.
I Can't Get My Ex Back After Cheating What am I Doing Wrong?
