subject: Get Back With Your Ex [print this page] There can be few things in life as a relationship breakup, the problem is, you want to get back with your ex. Wanting to get back with your ex is made even more difficult if you were the one who caused the split, and have only now realised what you had. If your ex still has feelings for you then you will be able to get back with them, but it will take a lot of work. There is always the chance that this could be the natural end of the relationship, accept that fact, but if you think that you've still got a chance then go for it.
It won't come as any great surprise to learn that there are some things that you just don't do. If you want to get back with your ex then you have to show yourself as strong, not weak or desperate begging to be taken back. Nobody loves the desperate, your ex will just end up turning their back on you and avoiding you like the plague. If you are unable to get back with your ex on your own merits then do not try to buy your way back into their affections. One of the worst things that you can do is to try and make your ex jealous. This will achieve only one thing, it will shout out that you have moved on and no longer care about your ex. If you really want to make your ex hate the site of you then go completely over the top about how much you love them. Again and again and again and again...
Before you can get your ex back you have to agree with the breakup and accept that you have broken up. If you are unable to accept the breakup, if you keep fighting against the breakup, then just how are you going to find the time to make up?
I don't need to tell you that this experience has dropped you on an emotional roller coaster of anger, uncertainty, jealousy, shame, betrayal, frustration and depression. It has probably also hit your confidenece and self esteem. You have to regain control of your emotions. If you want to get back with your ex back you have to come across as someone strong, confident, and getting on with their life. It won't be easy but it will give your self confidence a real boost. I don't doubt that your ex will get to hear of this strong, confident you, and they might start thinking that there was more to you than they had thought.
If you do not keep your lines of communication open then you will not get back with your ex. You need to be able to show that you are still thinking about them. If any significant dates such as birthdays or anniversaries happen whilst you are split then don't forget them. At the very least send a card and show that the things that are important to them still have meaning for you. If you don't feel up to talking with them, fair enough, you can still send a text or an email just to say hi, or remind them of a time that you had together.
Take a good look at yourself in the mirror. Are you still the person that your ex fell in love with? If you want to get back with your ex, this could be the wake up call that you've been needing to start rebuilding yourself. You need to stop brooding about the split and the best way to do that is to keep yourself busy so that you don't have time to feel sorry for yourself. Get yourself some new hobbies and interests and broaden your horizons. Whatever you do, do not cut yourself of from the rest of the world. If you do it will be very difficult to find your way back, and you'll have no chance to get back with your ex. Why not head of to the gym, maybe take up a sport, take a class or volunteer. What you do doesn't matter, the important thing is that it keeps your mind of the split, and it keeps you talking to people. Not only will filling your life with activity broaden your horizons, but it will rebuild your pride, confidence and self esteem. The news that you are not only doing well, but are going from strength to strength will undoubtably find its way back to your ex. At this point they should be wondering what they are missing out on.
If you want toget back with your ex then you need to work out why you broke up with them. Do you both want different things from the relationship, or was it ultimately down to a breakdown in communication. Just because you view the situation one way, don't forget that your ex could have a completely different perspective, and what's worse, you could both be right. The chances are thatyour split came about because of an accumulation of things for which you both need to share some of the responsibility. Take responsibility for anything that you have done and come up with a solution so that you do not repeat those mistakes.
At some point you are going to have to talk to your ex. If they are willing to talk to you then there is every chance that they still have feelings for you. When you are talking things through you need to be calm and rational. Don't get defensive or go on the offensive. You want to get back with your ex not drive them away. The purpose of this meeting is to work through your issues and see if you can find a way forwards. Let your partner know that you love them and that you miss them, but don't make a big thing about it, once you've said it move on to the next subject. You need to be able to say what you have done to change, not just that you will do this or you plan to do that. Show that you've taken action. Remember, no matter how genuine they are, words are easy and cheap! Actions speak a whole lot louder than words. Go through your issues one at a time. Concentrate solely on one at a time and do not move on to anything new until you have resolved that issue. Remember, you want to get back with your ex, this is not a competition to see how many points you can win. Make sure that you both want the same things from your relationship, if your wants are to far apart then the chances are that it won't work. You both need to come to an understanding as to why the relationship failed. You both also need to have agreed as to how you won't make those mistakes again.
If you want to get back with your ex it won't happen overnight, it will time time and a lot of thought. Because you split it doesn't have to be then end, plenty of couple have got back together because they had something worth fighting for, but you both have to want it. Take your time in getting back together, it gives your emotions a chance to cool and gives you both an opportunity to work out how to move things forward. Your old relationship came to an end when you split. When you get back together this will be a fresh start where you can leave your old mistakes behind, and build a long lasting future, together.
