subject: Help Save My Marriage [print this page] "I'm saving my marriage"I'm saving my marriage. Can you give me any good advice?" It is a typical question, phrased in many various ways. As an advocate for saving troubled marriages instead of allowing them to end in divorce courts, I often have people who are interested in making things work ask me for advice. Here are three rock-solid recommendations that might help you if you're dealing with marital difficulties.
First, make certain you truly wish to save your marriage in the first place. That might seem silly (after all, you are already reading this article), but it's important. There are some marriages that probably shouldn't be prolonged. That includes situations where abuse (either physical or emotional) is present and other so-called "toxic" relationships. In most cases, marriages can be saved. In some situations, though, it may be a good idea to move on to greener pastures.
Assuming you do really want to save your marriage, the following thing to remember is the need for a truly effective plan of action. You can't rely purely on gut instinct or on your hunches. You aren't a professional and flying by the seat of your pants certainly hasn't worked so far!
Now is definitely the time to take action, but that action also must be smart. That means following a good blueprint devised by professionals in the field who make it their lives work to understand how to save marriages.
Finally, please remember that "I'm saving my marriage" is a statement that only gets at half of the overall situation. Yes, you certainly do need to save your marriage from divorce. However, stopping divorce is only part of your real objective. You do not just want to rescue a marriage or avoid a divorce, you also wish to enhance your relationship.
Your end goal is to build a stronger, more loving, more stable marriage that meets your expectations and needs--the kind of relationship you really deserve. That is one reason why it is such a great idea to begin with a great plan that recognizes the differences between real progress and relationship band aids.
