subject: For Those Who Would Dance [print this page] Blessings come as flowers that speak for themselves, in a reality that cannot be stopped or changed.
It is Christmas Eve. Tonight no one will judge as Arthur prays to the Angels for them to stand guard. To protect those whose hearts are pure. He knows that God loves those who love unconditionally, those who keep true to their promises, no matter the cost. Arthur counts on God's mercy for this one moment.
He places his arm around Ellie's waist. His eyes are fixed into hers; all the while gently he holds her and whispers,
"If you wish to dance in life, just do it! "
His first step back to the left brings her forward as they turn, two moving as one they swirl nearer to their fidelity. Their silence speaks for their hearts breaking. Each knowing their silent truth, but dare not speak of it.
A year before, Ellie was unable to walk and faced an uncertain future. Now they dance bound by a distant memory. Recollections return as they dance.
It is now eleven months earlier and Ellie sits in a wheelchair at the hospital; her diagnosis, uncertain; her prognosis to walk again, doubtful.
She thanks Arthur for the flowers he has just brought her, as she says:
"Here, I wish to show you something. Bring the bouquet close to me, and give me a hug for goodness sake."
Arthur, desperate not to show his emotions, approaches her with a heart bursting with admiration, hope, and yes, God forgive him, his love. His arms are gently holding flowers, which speak for themselves.
"See Arthur," she says "these are called snapdragons and, look they can talk."
With her fingers she playfully squeezes a bud mimicking a conversation of an animated magic bloom.
"Ellie, I wish to visit you as much as you will allow me to."
Ellie knows exactly what Arthur is trying to say hesitates in her answer as the phone rings.
"Hi honey, guess who just arrived it's Arthur and he brought me the most beautiful flowers. "
Meanwhile, with Ellie on the phone Arthur, dream fasting to a few days before remembers how he desperately did not want her to leave for Mammoth. He feels uneasy about her trip, but cannot explain even to himself why he feels as he does. He prays for his friend, knowing that Sunday will be her birthday. It is Friday, before Ellie leaves as one of the youth counselors to Mammoth, Arthur visits Ellie at the church, bringing her a birthday card, a gift, and a hug.
"Hello Arthur,"
She says, as she walks towards him.
How are you?"
"Hi Ellie, I'm making a delivery."
"So I see."
"Happy Birthday Ellie"
"Thank you so much, Arthur. I can't tell you how much this means to me."
"Yesterday I said to Philippe, so what did you get me for my birthday?"
Ellie lowers her voice to mimic her husband's response,
"Oh - Ah, well, I guess I blew it I forgot."
"No you didn't, it's not my birthday yet."
Ellie blinks her eyes hard, twice, and then tilts her head to one side with an over expressive smile. Ellie continues describing the conversation with Philippe.
"So, Philippe, I look forward to my card from you, with the special message you are going to write, and so on Sunday when I'm in Mammoth; I'll open your card, and feel so happy for the neat message you write in it just for me."
Ellie explains to Arthur that Philippe grew up, without birthday celebrations in his family.
"I think I know what you mean Ellie."
Arthur and Ellie talk for a while sharing family experiences with each other. Arthur preparing to leave says,
"Please be well, Ellie, and be safe on your visit to Mammoth."
Late Friday night, Arthur uneasy about Ellie's travel, prays for her as he falls asleep.
He awakens the next day with a phone ring. It's Ellie.
"Arthur. I'm in the hospital. I am paralyzed from the waist down. It started as numbness in my toes, then my legs. The good news is the paralysis has stopped at my waist. They're about to take me for a CAT SCAN. See if you can find Philippe; he should be at the church."
Arthur promises he will find Philippe, and then rushes out to do so.
Arthur's Dream-fast feels like several days, but in actuality transpires in the few brief moments of Ellie's phone call with Philippe. He awakens from his dj vu like dream back in Ellie's room. Ellie on the phone with Philippe says, "Oh, it's so good to see Arthur. Yes..yes, the jammies would be fine. I also need my laptop, and my calendar. Will I see you later tonight? Good, I love you."
Ellie hangs up the phone; turns to Arthur and says,
"Arthur, Philippe has really come through for me."
Suddenly one of Ellie's girl friends arrives, ushering the moment of his departure.
"Oh hi Jennie this is Arthur, he's a nurse too."
"Hello Jennie. It is very nice to meet you. Please, take my chair. I was about to leave."
Arthur gently turns towards Ellie and says,
"I love you Ellie."
"Arthur, thank you so much for the flowers."
No one sees Arthur's desire to be meaningfully helpful, or his frustration for not being able to give needed support. He turns the corner of Ellie's room; slowly gravity weaves the animated bloom from Arthur's bouquet of flowers, as if to turn in his direction.
A year has passed and it is Christmas Eve. Arthur holds Ellie gently as they dance. He steps back again to the left bringing her forward as they turn with each pace taken, two moving as one they swirl, they both allow their silence to speak for their hearts. Each knowing their truth, but neither dare speak of it.
Ellie's tears roll uncontrollably knowing that Philippe has decided to leave her. Arthur loves her with all of his heart, with his entire mind and soul, and dreams of what should be and is not, but will be, because he refuses not to love; in a reality that cannot be stopped or changed; it can only be judged by some and held in silence by others.
